Time of Our Lives
by Mikkal
Summary: [LONG TERM HIATUS] Logan moved away during the summer, but four years later he's back, better than ever, and oh so different. Join the boys as they go through Minnesota, L.A, and the roller coaster ride of being everything but normal. And angst, don't forget the angst.
1. Seventh Grade

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but I sure wish I did.

A different take on the whole "Logan changes over time" situation. Mine goes the opposite of how it sometimes goes.

Less angst-y than my other fic "Sometimes A Hug Isn't Enough" that dealt with a different "Logan's got a secret he's never gonna tell"/ "Past" situation. There will still be angst (because I can't resist the angst), just not as much...maybe...

_CheekyBrunette_ did a read through of this back when I only had, like, 15 pages and said I should add the first two parts of this three part chapter. And I agree with her. Hope you stick around for the rest because it's going to get very...bumpy...and angst-y (because, well, who's writing this story? Oh yeah, me, Mikkal, the girl who lives off ruining her character's lives and then letting the rise again)

EXPERIMENTING! Yeah...

* * *

><p>Time Of Our Lives<p>

Chapter 1

Mikkal

* * *

><p><em>Summary:<em> Logan moved away during the summer, but four years later he's back, better than ever, and oh so different. Join the boys as they go through Minnesota, L.A, and the roller coaster ride of being everything but normal. And angst, don't forget the angst.

* * *

><p><em>December: 7th grade<em>

"Logan Mitchell!"

The combination of his name being yelled and a textbook being slammed on his desk made Logan jump a mile high, dropping a few colored pencils on the ground. He blushed strawberry red as he retrieved them, keeping his eyes downcast, and staying silent. The class laughed and snicker, making the blush do the impossible by going a deeper red.

Kendall glared at the teacher hatefully, the only thing keeping him from saying anything was James' hand on his arm and Carlos' pleading look.

Mrs. Johnson pressed her lips in a thin line and put her hands on her hips. "Logan Mitchell," she repeated. "This is science class, not art class. Put away the sketchbook before I take it away and pay attention. Lord knows with your grades you need to."

"You can't talk to him like that!" Kendall shouted, finally losing it. He yanked his arm from James' grip. "Your suppose to be a teacher, not a hateful hag of a bit—!"

"Kendall Knight," she said sharply. "Detention after school today and I will being calling your mother. You may not speak to me like that."

He snapped his mouth shut only when Logan gave him a watery look and sunk down in his seat, grumbling under his breath.

"Why would you do that?" James hissed when the bell rang. "You keep getting detentions you can't play for the team anymore."

Kendall waved a hand dismissively. "I can _always_ play hockey. I'm not going to play for a school that can't treat their students right." He glanced back at the quiet Logan. "You shouldn't let her talk to you like that."

Logan was always quiet and he, for the most part, hated that. There were times when the older boy wasn't, but those times were far and few between. So rare that the guys knew exactly what would set him off.

Art.

Sometimes, just sometimes, hockey would do the same thing. But that wasn't always a solid hit. And he wasn't much of a hockey player, only played against Carlos, James, and Kendall when they needed extra practice. It was painfully easy to beat him most of the time, but he's never complained. Well, not that he usually complained anyway.

He hardly ever talked.

Like now, all he did was shrug and mumble, "I didn't see the point. Either way I was going to get yelled at."

James rolled his eyes, a tiny bit irritated. He couldn't understand how people could stand staying in the shadows, how they could let themselves become wallflowers. He was so use to being in the limelight thanks to his mom it was so hard to understand.

When they sat down for lunch Logan pulled out his sketchbook and went back to drawing, James and Carlos started up a contest that had to do with catching popcorn chicken in their mouths. Kendall stared at his friend, it was amazing how they were even friends. They were so different.

The chemistry, the personalities, they all seemed to wrong and he couldn't figure out why they were friends, but he felt like, if one of them went missing, there would be this empty spot where he use to be.

* * *

><p><em>Early April: 7th grade<em>

Kendall walked out of yet another detention with a scowl on his face and hands shoved deep into his pockets. This one was for punching one of the basketball players for making fun of both Logan and Carlos. He freakin' hated school. One more detention and there was no more school hockey for the rest of the year.

Even though it sort of hurt to say it. _Whatever_. There were more important things than hockey and that was his friends.

He stalked down the road, going through the shopping district that was just before the communities. "Stupid school," he muttered, kicking a clump of ice and snow from the later than usual snowfall.

A noise from the space between the cafe and the music store made him freeze and go back a couple steps. Kendall glanced in the small alley, his eyes wide and a whoosh of breath escaped him. He ran down, dropping to his knees even though the ground of soaked with cold, half-melted water.

"Oh Logie," he murmured, lifting Logan up into a sort of cradle. "It was Daniels, wasn't it?"

Logan shook his head mutely, face going even whiter at the pain it caused. He grabbed his side weakly, blood dripping from his nose and lips. "No," he rasped. "I'm just a klutz."

Kendall scoffed. "You _are_ a klutz, but you're not _this _much of a klutz. And I'm pretty sure the ground didn't give you that black eye."

He stayed silent, prompting Kendall to hoist him up and swing Logan's arm over his shoulders so he could help him limp to his house. He whimpered in pain, grabbing weakly at Kendall in an attempt to stop him from doing _anything._

"You better tell your mom what happened," the blond said. "You know she'll believe you less than I am if you tell her you fell." And Kendall didn't believe him at all.

Logan kept his eyes downcast. "I know," he mumbled.

"Of course you know." He always knew, and yet he never changed.

* * *

><p><em> July: Summer between 7th and 8th grade<em>

"Guys..."

James and Carlos started an argument up, yelling about who would use the best controller in the Knights' house. Totally ignoring the fact that it was Kendall's house, Kendall's controller, Kendall's food they were shoving down their throats, and Kendall's video game. The blond just watched them, totally amused and about ready to crack up.

"Uh, guys..."

Carlos slapped on his lucky helmet and tackled James, shoving the tall boy off the couch and onto the floor. He let out an unmanly yelp and counterattacked with a headlock. They didn't notice as Kendall simply picked up the controller and started loading the game.

Logan took a deep, cleansing breath and yelled, "_GUYS_!" And immediately blushed bright red at the wide eyed silence that followed after his out burst.

"Whoa," Carlos joked. "Logan's got some voice."

The thirteen year old bit his lip and looked away at the tease. "I've got something to tell you," he mumbled, picking at his sleeves.

"What is it?" Kendall asked, concerned. Even though Logan was the oldest one (already thirteen along with James) he was the shyest, soft-spoken, _clumsiest_ guy Kendall had ever met and that meant it was the blond's job to protect him.

And it sounded as if Logan needed protecting _right now_.

The blond moved a little bit closer. "Logan, what's wrong?" It was so easy to tell something was wrong on that pale face of his.

Logan glanced slightly up from his sleeves, eyes owlish behind the ill-fitting glasses James sometimes wish he could grab and snap (he'd get him some better looking ones as an apology). "I'm muyphmt," he mumbled.

James raised an eyebrow. "You wanna repeat that jumbled crap?" He too noticed something wrong, but he lacked the tact Kendall had with the nervous Logan...though he seemed a bit more nervous than usual today.

"I'm moving," he said quietly.

"What?" Carlos shouted, shooting up from his spot on the floor. "What do you mean?"

He wouldn't look at them. "My mom's having money problems," he said. "My dad's offered to have me live with him until she get's back on her feet. I'm moving back to Texas."

"You can't!"

"You can live with me," Kendall suggested. "My mom won't mind, she loves you."

The pale teen turned pink at that and rubbed the back of his neck. "My parents wouldn't go for it. Plus, I might be coming back, so it's not forever."

"You _might _be coming back?" James picked up. "That means you _might not_ be coming back."

Logan stared at them, as if he couldn't comprehend why they were making such a big deal out of him leaving. As if he couldn't figure out how much they cared about him. "I _will_ come back," he said fir—well, not firmly. Logan was hardly ever firm with anyone.

"You have to!" Carlos said, eyes stinging a little. "We've been friends so long, it'll be weird without you here."

Kendall frowned. "When to you leave?"

"Tomuyphty," he mumbled yet again.

The blond rolled his eyes. Sure he was use to the art geek mumbling, but this was too much. "Logan," he said gently. "When do you leave."

"Tomorrow." His bangs shadowed his eyes as his friends shouted loudly in disbelief.

"_WHAT?"_

"And you're not telling us until now?" James shouted. "What's wrong with you?"

Logan bit his lip and shifted uncomfortably. Kendall smacked the taller boy upside the head rather hard.

"That's not something you say at times like this," the blond hissed, glaring.

James wilted. "Sorry," he muttered. He turned to Logan and said a little louder, "Sorry, Logan. You just...caught me by surprise."

He gave him a small smile. "It's okay, I get it." He glanced at the clock. "I've gotta go. I'm not done packing and my uncle's taking me in the morning."

Kendall pulled him into a tight hug, successfully making him uncomfortable. "Send us a picture or a painting of Texas, okay? And call us every now and then."

The raven haired boy nodded. "Of course." He sat back. "Don't forget about me."

James smiled brightly. "Never," he said confidently. "I've got so many pictures of us I think that'll be impossible."

Carlos' eyes stung even more, a tear falling down his cheek. "And you can't forget about us either," he warned his friend. "If you do there will be some serious pay back when you move back."

Logan nodded. "Understood." He stood up, stretching. "I'll call you when I'm on the road?" It sounded more like a question than a promise.

"You better," Kendall threatened. "If not, we're gonna follow you to Texas and drag you back ourselves."

He smiled. "Good to hear." He shuffled towards the door, tripping over the pulled up rug, and pausing at the door. "I didn't tell you sooner," he said quietly. "'Cause I was afraid you wouldn't care."

They never got a chance to say anything because he was already out the door and down the street before it occurred to them what he said.


	2. Birthday Calls

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but they have helped so much anyway.

* * *

><p>Time of Our Lives<p>

Chapter 2

Mikkal

* * *

><p><em> Summary<em>_: _Logan moved away during the summer, but four years later he's back, better than ever, and oh so different. Join the boys as they go through Minnesota, L.A, and the roller coaster ride of being everything but normal. And angst, don't forget the angst.

* * *

><p><em> June:<em> _Summer between 8th and 9th grade: James's 14th Birthday_

"Really?" James shouted happily, unrolling the poster with fast hands. "Thank you, Kendall!"

Kendall grinned at the enthusiasm in the newly turned fourteen year old. "I thought you'd like it. What better way to celebrate the beginning of the summer before high school and your birthday than with that?"

The tall brunette nodded wildly, too caught up studying the poster with a happy, critical eye. It was dark blue and the black silhouette of the head and shoulders of a male took up most of the background. Silver letters announcing Mitchell Henderson's first album release that was a month and a half ago.

His eyes widened when he caught sight of something silver and scribbled in the corner. "Is that?" He gasped. "Is that his autograph?"

"Yep!" Kendall said proudly. "Took so much time finding one signed. I'm pretty sure it's legit."

It took all of his will power not to hug the blond, and even then it wasn't enough. He tackled him, almost knocking him down. "Thank you!"

"Aw," Carlos pouted with a grin. "Now I feel like my gift isn't so great."

He pulled himself off the leader of their little gang. "I'm sure it's amazing," he assured. "...What is it?" There was a gleam in his eyes that made the other two laugh.

"This." He handed the birthday boy, the oldest in their group and the only one who was fourteen now.

James pulled off the wrapping and his jaw dropped. "Is this...what I think it is?"

Carlos nodded, laughing. "One of those advanced copies of Mitchell Henderson's 2nd album?...Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what it is. What were you thinking it was?"

He _did not _squeal in response, this time launching himself at the Latino. "Oh my God! Thank you!"

"Great," Kendall complained mockingly. "Now _my _present's not as good!"

James swung his arm around his neck and pulled him down into the hug. "_Both_ your presents are amazingly awesome!"

His phone rang, startling them. James ran to get it before whoever it was hung up. He hated when that happened. "Hello?"

"Happy Birthday, James!"

He grinned and put the phone on speaker. "Thanks, Logan."

Kendall and Carlos crowded around him, excited to hear from their friend. All three of them felt like they didn't hear from him often enough...even though he called, like, three days ago.

"No, seriously," Logan said. There was some rustling on the other line. "Happy Birthday. You should get your present in a couple of days. It's so hectic here that I didn't get a chance to send it out until yesterday, sorry."

James chuckled. Same old Logan, worried about other people even when he shouldn't be. "It's fine. You didn't have to get me anything, ya know."

"Yeah I do. And plus, I didn't get you anythin'." He could practically hear the smile in his voice. "I painted somethin' for you. It's somethin' I saw a few months ago and I thought it would remind you of a certain singer."

That made him laugh out right. "Carlos and Kendall got me something that had to do with Henderson, too."

"_Hi, Logan!_"

Logan let out a breathy chuckle. "Hey, guys. I guess we just know you so well," he joked. There was a moment of silence until he said quietly, "Now I've missed at least one of all your birthdays."

Carlos rolled his eyes. "You got us presents, didn't you? You called us to say happy birthday, right?"

"Well...yeah."

"Then you haven't missed our birthdays!" He exclaimed. "I can't believe it's been a year since we last saw you."

"I know," Logan softly. "I miss you guys."

"We miss you too," James assured him. "You'll call us again?"

There was no answer, making them worry.

"Logan?" Kendall called.

The sound of the phone clattering on the floor and Logan muttering something was all they heard. Suddenly there was some fumbling and Logan came back out of breath. "Sorry, just ran over by a dog. Of course I'll call you again. But I've gotta go, my dad wants me to do somethin'. Happy Birthday again!"

"Bye."

James stared at the phone, grinning. "He doesn't sound any different."

"That's good," Carlos said seriously. "I don't know what we'd do if he changed too much before he got back."

"He sounded a little happier than usual, though," Kendall pointed out. "But that's good, of course."

"As long as he's still Logan, I'm okay with that." Carlos pulled out the CD. "Let's listen to this, I wanna hear it!"

James laughed. "So that's the real reason you got that for me? Just so you can borrow it any time and don't have to get one of your own, right?"

"Duh!"

* * *

><p><em>September: Two Days before 10th Grade: Kendall's 16th Birthday<em>

Kendall was interrupted from his much needed sleep by his phone ringing. The just turned sixteen year old groggily felt around for the device and pulled it to his ear. "'lo?"

"Kendall!" Someone shouted in his ear, music loud in the background. "Happy Birthday, man!" Laughter and some sort of cheer.

He shot up in bed. "Logan?"

"Yep!" His friend _chirped_ happily. "Who else? It's your birthday so I've gotta say happy birthday! So, happy birthday!"

"You've said that already," Kendall pointed out, amused and slightly worried. "Logan...where are you?"

Logan screamed something off line, sounded like curse words and a threat. "My friend, Kasey, her birthday's today too and she's having a party. Music's kinda loud and, not to mention, all the drunkenness surroundin' me is dangerous so I'm dodgin'."

If Kendall was a little jealous of Logan having friends then he knew he was being stupid. There was no need for him to get jealous, Logan was allowed to have friends in Texas. After all, it's been a few years. It'd be weird if he didn't have friends. It's not like he totally forgot about Kendall anyway, even though it was this Kasey chick's birthday too.

That thought warmed him up. But then...

"Drunkenness?" Kendall demanded. "What?"

Logan laughed. "Relax, Ken-doll! Kasey took away their precious alcohol a while ago and now we're just makin' them do stupid things 'til they pass out. It's actually a lot of fun." A beat. "And I'm not drinkin', if that's what you're worried about. Have you ever had beer? Man, dude, it tastes _na-sty_! That's spelled E-W, by the way."

Kendall grinned, an eyebrow raised even if Logan couldn't see it. "You know you sound drunk, right?"

"I know that. Kasey won't stop tellin' me...wait a sec..._Hey! HEY! Get down from there! Get down! Don't make me come over there, Kevin! Yeah! I'm talkin' to you! KASEY_!" He didn't even bother pulling the phone away this time, making Kendall wince. "Sorry 'bout that. Kevin seems to think he's a koala."

He chuckled. "No problem. Hey...thanks for calling."

"No need to thank me!" Logan chirped again. "Just doing my Best Friends duty. Did you get my present? I sent it express."

"Yeah." Kendall glanced at the hockey skates in the corner of his room. "I can't believe you remembered. We hadn't talked in a couple months, I was...kinda worried you weren't gonna call."

There was a dramatic gasp of shock. "How dare you think of me like that! I've got practically a photographic memory AND I would always call you on your birthday, what would change that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. You just don't called us that often anymore."

Logan was silent on the other line. Something clicked in the background and the music was muffled. "Sorry," he said sincerely, voice echoing a little. "I know I haven't. School's been hectic, as usual, and there's some weird stuff going on at my dad's office that I'm helpin' out with. It's been crazy."

"I get it," Kendall said. "You have a life, don't worry about it."

"What about you?"

"Huh?"

"Do you have a life or do you long for my phone calls to make it through the rest of the year?" Logan teased.

Kendall's eyes widened, startled at the joke. Now that he thought about it, Logan was acting a lot different than he remembered. The party, the shouting, the cussing, the excessive joking, the nickname, the easy laughter. This wasn't what he did before.

"Kendall?... Earth to K-Dawg!"

"Huh? What?" He came back to the planet. "Oh, yeah. I have a life. It involves hockey with Carlos and James and attempting to pass my classes."

Logan snorted. "Sounds like fun. I freakin' hate my classes, the actual subjects aren't bad, it's the teachers. I swear they're demons from hell. They're always harpin' on me even though I'm passin' all my classes."

He was passing all his classes? The old Logan barely scrapped by with a C due to the fact he was always drawing. Kendall frowned at the thought of an "old Logan."

"That sucks."

"I'll say." There was muffled knocking on a door and Logan swore loudly. "_What do you want?...I'm busy, Brian...No, I'm not. Dude, you've got sick mind, get it outta the gutter._" Kendall smirked at that. "_Fine, fine, give me a minute._" He sighed. "I've gotta go, we're about to shove Kasey's head in her cake. Plus, you should be sleeping. I woke you up, didn't I?"

"Ya think?" He said sarcastically. "I'll talk to you later?" Kendall asked a little hopefully.

"Of course," was the distracted answer. Logan hung up a second later.

Kendall spent a moment staring at his phone, mulling over that conversation. How much was Logan changing? Over the course of three years he went from what he remembered to this...How much more would he change before they ever actually saw him again?

* * *

><p><em>October: 10th grade: Two days after Carlos' 16th Birthday<em>

James raised an eyebrow. "He still hasn't called?"

Carlos shook his head sadly, hand clutching his phone just in case. "No," he said. "Should I be worried?"

He put a hand on his friend's shoulder and turned to Kendall. "You talked to him last," he said. "Would Logan do this?"

Kendall frowned, running a hand through his hair. "No. I mean, he was a little bit more preoccupied with other things so he's not so up to speed, but he wouldn't do this. Maybe something _is _wrong."

"I hope not."

Just then Carlos' phone rang, making them all jump. Carlos rushed to answer it, almost dropping it as he pressed the button for speaker. If it wasn't Logan he'd take it off.

"Hello?"

"Happy Birthday, Carlos," came Logan's voice, sounding tired and a little sad. "Sorry it's so late. I'm really, really sorry."

Carlos frowned. "It's okay, Logan. Thanks for calling in the first place...are you okay?"

Kendall and James exchanged worried glances, something was up. In all the phone calls the past three years they've never heard Logan sound like this, except once when his dog died, but that was it.

Logan's breath hitched on the other end. "Yeah," he said almost too casually. "Just...my friend got hit by a drunk driver the day before your birthday..."

"Oh God," Carlos whispered. "Are they okay?" Please be okay, please be okay.

There was moment of silence before Logan answered, sounding even sadder. "No," he mumbled. "He...he died yesterday in the ICU, sufferin' from major internal bleeding and massive brain damage."

"Oh, Logan," James said softly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault...This day's about Carlos anyway. I'm really sorry again for not callin' when I was suppose to."

Carlos shook his head. "You're kidding right? Your friend was hurt, I completely get it!"

Logan sighed. "Thanks." He sounded a bit better. "Anyway, did you like the present?"

The youngest grinned and slapped his new helmet. "Of course I do! Thank you!"

"No problem!" Logan said brightly, that brightness sounded at least a little real.

James practically wrestled the phone away from the belated-birthday boy. "When are you coming back?"

"What?" Logan sounded startled. "Oh...I don't know. Not soon, I know that. I've got help Misha's family and all that." He didn't have to say who Misha was, they could put the pieces together themselves. "I'll try to figure something out, alright?"

Carlos snatched the phone back. "It sounds perfectly fine to me." He bit his lip. "Maybe you should go," he suggested. "I'll understand."

He paused for a moment. "Thank you so much, Carlos," he sounded grateful. "I'll make it up to you. I don't know how. But I'll make it up to you."

"Anything's good, don't worry about it."

Logan wasted no time saying bye and hanging up. Carlos closed his eyes briefly and glanced up at his friends.

James was a little pale. "I'd hate to think...of that happening to one of us." He swallowed thickly.

"It didn't," Kendall said firmly. "So we don't have to think about that 'What if...' I just hope Logan's gonna be okay."


	3. September

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but they have helped so much anyway.

* * *

><p>Time of Our Lives<p>

Chapter 3

Mikkal

* * *

><p><em> Summary: <em>Logan moved away during the summer, but four years later he's back, better than ever, and oh so different. Join the boys as they go through Minnesota, L.A, and the roller coaster ride of being everything but normal. And angst, don't forget the angst.

* * *

><p><em>September: Beginning of 11th grade: Middle of the month<em>

Kendall let his head fall on his desk, groaning as he did so. Second block was barely over and he was ready to go home. The teacher didn't even notice that she lost another student's attention and just kept on talking. To everyone in the class it sounded monotone...it wasn't.

He got poked in the side, making him shoot a glare at the grinning James.

"Nope," the taller brunette tsked. "No sleeping. No Bs, no hockey," he reminded the hockey captain.

Kendall groaned again, he had forgotten the deal he and his mom made. "Whose side are you on?"

"The winning one," James said simply. Mrs. Knight always won.

There was a knock at the door, stilling every activity as everyone's attention turned to the wooden slab keeping them from something interesting.

_Please be something interesting. _

A senior who helped out in the office during her free block leaned against the door frame, chewing gum and looking positively bored. There was a knowing grin on her face and some sort of spark in her eye that put Kendall and James at the edge of their seats.

_Please be something interesting._

"Hey, Mrs. Jordan," she said monotone, for real this time. "We've got that new student Mr. Nick warned ya about."

Mrs. Jordan sighed. "Okay, Max. You can go now."

"Whatever." She shrugged and left, but not before shooting a smirk at the class. "Have fun. Good to see ya again," she said to whoever was in the hallway.

When whoever it was walked into the room Kendall's jaw dropped and James let out a strangled gasp.

_It couldn't...could?_

"Logan Mitchell." Their long lost friend smirked with a surprisingly crooked smile. "Back from the dead. How y'all doin'?"

"Logan?" They yelled at the same time.

The rest of the class was too shocked to do anything. They didn't remember Logan, not really. He had been Kendall, James, and Carlos' friend, not theirs, so there wasn't really a point to remember him. It's not like they thought he was ever coming back, right?

But the yelling Kendall and James decided to let loose in the classroom made the memory trigger in their mind. And they couldn't believe that the wall-flower from four years ago was this teen standing in front of them right now.

"The one and the same," he drawled, completely amused with the situation.

Mrs. Jordan rolled her eyes at the dramatic entrance. "Logan, go find a seat. I've gotta get back to teaching."

She recognized the name Logan Mitchell, hearing the warnings from sixth grade teachers and elementary school teachers that he, for the most part, was the stabilizer of most of the boys' pranks back then. From the whispers she had heard from her own students the past two years, she doubted that very much and wondered what the other teachers were sniffing when they told her that.

And, not to mention, Logan Mitchell was the cause of most fights in elementary and middle school. He wasn't usually directly involved unless it was a bully problem, but Kendall Knight had a tendency to be over-protective and often got into fights to protect his fiends—usually Logan.

Didn't mean she wanted to see for herself. And plus, she was savvy enough in the art of teenage puberty to know that the Logan from the stories and four years ago were going to be way different from the Logan who just walked into her classroom.

"Yes ma'am." He shuffled into a seat that just so happened to be right in front of Kendall and James.

_Oh joy_...she thought wryly. At that point she gave up trying to teach the class anything.

"Where are your glasses?" James blurted out.

Logan shot a glance at him, eyebrow raised and a hand touching the side of his face. "Oh crap," he laughed. "I forgot I use to wear those. I haven't worn them since freshmen year." He glared at his childhood friend. "And I know for a fact that you wanted to break them when I wore them."

James had the decently to turn a little pink. "Yeah, well, they were ugly."

"Got that right."

"When did you get back?" Kendall asked.

He, like the rest of the class, was trying to connect this Logan to the wall-flower kid from four years ago...it was really hard. I mean, he had been kind of expecting something like this was going to happen after his 16th birthday phone call, the whole party and everything, but expecting and seeing are two very different things.

Logan grinned. "A few days ago. Mom and I had to do a lil unpacking and re-register me for school."

"And you didn't tell us earlier?" James shouted. "What's wrong with you?"

Kendall was about to smack his friend on the back of the head for talking like that, but, much to his surprise, Logan beat him to it. James stared at him in shock, hand coming up to touch the spot. Did Logan..._Logan Mitchell_ just _hit_ him?

"That's not something you say at a time like this," Logan warned, a smile on his face.

It took a moment for the two of them to realize what he just said, that it was an exact repeat of what James said to Logan and what Kendall said to James in return four years ago.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I remembered. I may have been quiet." Logan grimaced at that. "But that didn't mean I was deaf, my memory worked well back then too."

"We missed you," Kendall said.

He opted out of mentioning the fact that Logan hadn't called them for their birthdays the past year and didn't pick up for his...well, opted out until Carlos showed up during lunch. They they would talk about it. The three of them normally sat together, even though they were popular enough to sit anywhere, and everyone knew they wanted to hang out so they left them mostly alone. There were a few who sat with them, but they _usually _stuck to their own conversations.

Yeah, when Carlos and lunch got here then they would talk.

Logan smiled softly. "I missed you guys too." He stuck his tongue out at a girl who went "aw!", earning a surprised laugh from a majority of the class.

This was _not_ the Logan Mitchell they all barely remembered.

* * *

><p>Carlos gathered his stuff as the bell got closer and closer to ringing. The teacher was still talking but he didn't really care, he cared more about lunch not about the Spanish class he was only taking so he could have his language credits. What was his grade again? Oh yeah, a 97 percent. He <em>so<em> did _not_ need to pay attention.

The rest of the class didn't cared about the lesson still going on either, if their giggling conversations meant anything. Though Carlos doubted they had a good grade such as his.

He stared at the clock, hating that he hardly got to see his friends during school. First block, lunch, and fourth block were the only times...wait...okay, he got to see them a lot. Just not as much as he wish he did.

"Carlos!" Someone stage whispered, getting his attention. "That kid you use to hang out a couple years ago...what was his name? It was some scrawny kid."

"Who? Logan?" Why would they want to know?

She rolled her eyes. "There's like three Logans in the whole school alone. Logan what?"

Carlos raised an eyebrow. "Logan Mitchell. Why?"

She got really excited. "Macy just texted me!" That was mostly to the other teens, but she turned a little towards Carlos so he could be included. "Logan Mitchell, that scrawny art geek, is back!" She lowered her voice to that stage whisper again. "And she said he's totally _hot_!"

A couple people who remembered him scoffed, while quite a few couldn't even remember who Logan Mitchell was.

Carlos remembered. He grabbed Kim's arm (that was her name, now that he thought about it) so she would look at him. "You say Logan Mitchell? The one who move to Texas?"

She nodded, looking at him strangely. "Yeah...didn't you know he was back?"

He shook his head, already too distracted by his racing thoughts to fully answer her. Did Kendall and James know? When was he going to see Logan? Was he back for good? Was Macy kidding when she said he was hot?

The Logan he remembered would, honestly, never have that word used to describe him. Cute...maybe. Adorable...maybe. Dork...yeah, probably. But hot? Hm...no, not really.

If he really wanted to get out of Spanish before then it was nothing compared to now. The moment the clock turned a minute before the bell he was out of his seat and hovering near the door, inching pass the little line of plastic that separated the tile hallway from the carpeted classroom.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Come on! Ring!_

"Yes!" He shouted happily when the bell finally rang, already racing down the hall to the cafeteria by the time the first echo faded.

A couple people giggled at him as he went past them, thinking that this was just another one of his class clown antics. Pretty much the only class he was well behaved in was Spanish, and that was because the other guys weren't in it...and his mom would _kill_ him if he wasn't passing something simple like Spanish.

He dropped his book bag off at their usual table, a couple people already sitting there. A few girls, a couple guys from hockey, a couple drama kids James knew, and some dude listening to music and not really talking to anyone. Carlos ignored them and headed to the spot Kendall and James held for him in the middle of the line.

"Guys!" He half-shouted over the roaring combination of students and almost too loud music (switching from Lady Gaga to hottest sensation Mitchell Henderson). "Is it true?" He demanded.

Kendall and James exchanged glances and shrugged simultaneously.

"What ever do you mean, Carlitos?" James asked mockingly.

He narrowed his eyes. The pretty boy knew exactly what he meant...jerk. "Ya know, just because I lost my phone doesn't mean other people can't text their friends...who are in my class...who _also talk to me! _Is Logan back?"

"Logan who?" Kendall chimed in, ruining everything with the evil smile on his face.

His eyes widened. "Oh my God, he is! When did he get back?" Carlos grabbed the rails that divided the lines and started hopping foot to foot in excitement. "Is he here to stay? Where is he?"

Kendall laughed a little and patted him on the head. "A couple days ago. Uh, yeah, I think so. And he's sitting at our table, being mysteriously cool."

_Mysteriously cool? Logan Mitchell? _Carlos looked where he pointed and saw the dude listening to music he ignored earlier. His jaw dropped.

"That's Logan?" He asked in disbelief.

James grinned. "That's what we said."

Lunch was totally forgotten, but that didn't stop him from getting his and almost dropping it in excitement as they finally got to the table.

"Logan! I missed you!" He yelled, practically jumping the older teen.

...who barely had time to yank out his off his headphones before being smothered by the hyperactive Latino. "Carlos!" He yelled back, laughing. "I missed you too." Hugging tightly like he would never get to again.

He backed off and looked his long lost friend up and down. "You look so different," Carlos said, almost in wonder.

And he wasn't lying. The Logan they use to know wore over-sized sweaters and pants, dirty sneakers, he had those awful glasses and braces that seemed too big for his mouth. His hair back then was shaggy and uncared for and he was always covered in paint.

This Logan was the opposite. Short, spiky hair and lightly tanned skin (since, you know, he lived in Texas), his glasses were gone and his teeth were straight and white. He wore a long sleeved, light blue shirt that was close fitting to show off a toned stomach and dark blue, white washed jeans with black converse. The only thing that brought them comfort that this was the same person they knew were the smudges of pencil lead on his fingers.

In other words, Carlos was right: he did look really different.

Logan grinned that surprisingly crooked grin . "What can I say? High school changes a person."

He sounded different too. More confident, with a little bit of swagger in there too. And—

"You sound like a cowboy," Kendall pointed out.

Logan gasped. "I do not!"

Carlos grinned. "Yeah ya do."

He scowled good-naturally. "Yeah, yeah. Blame Texas, ya can't live there for two months without pickin' it up."

"Oh, lookie here. Little Logie's back from the great state of Texas," Mike Daniels, captain of the barely loved football team sneered. "I guess he missed my kindness back in the old days. Did you come back just for little ol' me?"

Logan rolled his eyes and turned around, not even bothering to get up to confront his middle school bully. "I see you haven't changed, Daniels. Still as egotistical as ever."

His lips twisted into a snarl. "What's that suppose to mean, Mitchell?"

He stared at him blankly, it looked like he was trying to figure out why he had been afraid of this guy in the first place. "Egotistical. Adjective. Tendin' to talk excessively about oneself. Believin' oneself to be better and more important than others. In other words, you."

His friends stared at him in shock. Logan just told of the biggest jerk in the whole school with a dictionary definition...Kendall wondered faintly if he was still going to have to be the protector after school some time this week.

Daniels sputtered, turning an unhealthy purple before slouching off in search for an easier target, trying to make it look like he left because he wanted to, not because he was told off.

"My hero," Carlos teased. "So your photographic memory's coming in handy for things other than painting?"

He nodded, smiling. "Yeah. I think I've memorized the dictionary ten times over."

That received stares, making him shrug.

"It was a bet!" Logan defended. "Okay...maybe it wasn't. But I still got money for it! Kasey said she didn't believe me and made me repeat all the A words...got fifty bucks outta it."

The Latino burst out laughing. "You went from art geek to just plain nerd? Why did that happen?"

"Yeah," Kendall cut in. "You use to hate school, except for art."

"Well, like I said: high school changes a person." He glanced at his watch before stuffing his headphones back on. "I've gotta go talk to the principle about somethin'. See ya later."

Kendall grabbed his arm as he stood up. "We need to talk to you after school. Meet us at the front doors?"

Logan gave him a strange look. "Sure."

* * *

><p>The rest of the day all about Logan Mitchell. Several people texted James and Kendall about him. People came up to them in the hallways, asking about him. It was tiring and a little annoying. All these people never gave him the time of day years before and now they were all over him.<p>

Not to mention, James was getting a little pouting that all the girls were turning their attention to someone else.

"Relax, James," Kendall soothed, being the leader that he was. "By tomorrow this whole thing will blow over and Logan will just be another face in the crowed."

"Speaking of Logan. Why did you want to talk to him after school?" Carlos asked. "I mean, not that I don't want to talk to him...but why'd you have to make sure?"

Kendall sighed. "Just 'cause he's back doesn't mean I can completely ignore he blew us off our last birthdays...except for yours, Carlitos, 'cause it hasn't happened yet."

"Thanks for reminding me," Carlos pouted, crossing his arms. He hated being the youngest, it wasn't fair that he was still sixteen while everyone else was seventeen.

"Are you sure he didn't call?" James asked. "I mean, not even two days late like Carlos' last year?"

Kendall nodded. "He didn't call for you either," he reminded them. "And he didn't pick up when we tried to call him for his birthday."

Carlos frowned. "When did it come to the point were we only talked on birthdays?" He commented. "What happened to us calling in between that?"

The blond leader shrugged. "I don't know," he answered truthfully. "I kinda wished it hadn't happened, but it's hard to keep a long distance friendship. Especially one when we're all going into high school, so much changes."

"But he's back now!" The Latino exclaimed. "So that can change!"

James shook his head, shrugging. "Yeah, you're right. But I agree with Kendall, we've gotta figure out why."

Logan chose that moment to come out the front doors, shouting bye to someone before spotting them hanging around the steps. He waved at them and jogged over. "Hey, what'd you wanna talk to me about?"

Kendall took a little, cleansing breath and got straight to the point. "Why didn't you call us for our birthdays? Why didn't you pick up for yours?"

He stared at them wide-eyed in surprise. "Really? I thought you were goin' to tell me someone died!" He sighed in relief, but something flickered in his eyes and they were all suddenly reminded of Carlos' last birthday call and Misha. "I'm sorry about that. My phone got dunked when I was tryin' to take care of somethin' at the stable I worked at. None of my contacts could be retrieved and I couldn't call any of you." He frowned. "I'm really sorry."

James' jaw dropped. "_That's _why?" He screeched. "I thought it was because you finally got a life and didn't feel like calling us anymore!"

Logan laughed. "I'll have you know, I _did_ get a life. But you guys are my friends, I wouldn't leave you just for that. I was goin' to come back." He looked at them. "You know that, right?"

Kendall swung an arm around his shoulders. "Of course we do, we just had that one moment of doubt. I mean, we still got your presents. You got ours?"

"Yeah, thanks. I really needed that sketchbook. And thanks for the Mitchell Henderson's 8th CD, James." He smirked and glanced at the pretty boy then at Carlos. "It went very well with Carlos giving me his 9th one."

Mitchell Henderson was the hottest sensation, completely independent from any contract, and put out three albums his first year before tapering off to two a year. Despite how famous he was, no one knew anything about him. There's no pictures, no age, no nothing. They weren't even sure if that was his real name. The only thing people knew was that he was male and that he announced three months ago he was no longer recording songs.

Didn't mean there weren't going to be more albums. Henderson recorded enough songs there were easily going to be at least four more. According to his anonymous Facebook page.

"So...thanks for the confrontation and everythin'." Logan scratched his cheek. "And I'm really sorry you had to in the first place."

"Man, it's not problem," James assured, which pretty much meant Logan was off the hook. If Kendall or Carlos said it then that would've been a different story all together. James felt so deeply about things that it took a while for him to get over it, and you could tell when he wasn't. He could never fully lie about it being okay, there was always a sign.

And there were no signs now.

"But I've gotta go. Mom wants me back for dinner to talk about my first day." He made a face, making them laugh. "It's gonna be fun."

* * *

><p>He said good-bye to his friends a bit relucatantly. Logan really, really wanted to catch up with them, it had been too long since they had seen each other or even talked to each other and he had missed them a lot. But he could already feel the tightness in his chest and the world around him was static-y at the corners.<p>

Tomorrow...tomorrow he'll catch up, but today? Today he was going to get home as fast as he could.

Logan practically ran all the way home, the fresh rush of air pouring into his lungs made the tightness lessen, but the world was still static. His hands trembled as he opened the door and slammed it shut behind him, he leaned back and sighed.

"Logan? Is that you?" His mom called from the kitchen.

"Yeah," he said back, voice cracking. Logan winced and swore in his head, barely catching himself from swearing out loud. His mom was not happy when she learned that his dad let him swear freely back in Texas, he had to re-learn how to watch what he said. "I'm h-home."

She poked her head through the doorway and sighed when she got a good look at him. "Go upstairs, honey. I'll call you for dinner."

Logan could only give her a grateful look before bolting upstairs. He locked the door and threw himself on his bed, burying his head in his pillow and hugging himself tightly. The tightness was back, squeezing his lungs together until he was gasping for air. He dug his nails into his arms, grounding him the best he knew how, and forced himself to take deep breathes even though it kind of, sort of hurt.

He hated moments like these, when the insecurities he pushed back came at him in full force. They were the same ones he had before Texas, just...since he pushed past them in order to make himself more confident and seemingly secure with everything it made them flood him all at once during some moments to remind him that he was still that art geek who had no place in life.

Like now. Now when he couldn't breath, and all he wanted to do was smother himself with his pillow. The world breaking away, letting him fall.

It was all because of coming back to Minnesota and going to this school where everyone he use to know went, memories flashing back to points when everything sucked and he was nothing but an art geek with strangely amazing friends and more problems than could be listed, and bullies, groups of bullies that used him as a punching bag.

Logan gasped, eyes widening as the fact he stood up to Mike Daniels came back to him. He bit his lip _hard_ when the panic he managed to work around at that time came full force. Oh God, oh God. Did he really do that? How did he do that? _Why did he do that_? How could he be such an idiot? He was going to die. Oh God, Daniels was going to kill him.

His cellphone rang and he was tempted to ignore it, until he saw it was Kasey. He smiled a little, how did she know that exactly what he want right now?

"Logan! How was school? You have to tell me! Did your friends completely freak out? Are you taking AP classes? Art? Chorus? Did you revert to your geeky days or are you still a nerd?" She shouted.

He let out a breathy laugh, still struggling to catch the air he needed. "Kasey, breathe between sentences."

There was silence on the other line. "Logan," she said slowly. "Are you having a flash?"

"Maybe." Logan ran a hand down his face. "Comin' back was harder than I thought. I stood up to my bully and acted confident all day. I just—." He struggled for the words. "It was...difficult."

"Oh, Logan," Kasey said sadly. She knew all about his changes. "Are you going to tell your friends about this?"

He sighed, rubbing his chest. "I might. I don't know. They may not want me as a friend anymore 'cause I'm so different than the Logan they knew."

She laughed. "Logan, anyone who didn't want you as a friend is an complete idiot. Just hang out with them like you use to. Go play hockey. I know you still remember."

"Just 'cause I remember how to play doesn't mean I can still skate," he muttered. There was no use for hockey in Texas, a state mostly focused on football to a ridiculous level. And baseball...football and baseball, and maybe a little bit of horseback riding.

Hell, the state had a spot for every sport _except _hockey.

"Go with them then," Kasey urged. "Hang out with them and, at the same time, see if you can still skate. Didn't you say skating was like riding a bike? You never forget."

Logan sighed, grinning. "I'm not an elephant, Kasey."

"You sure about that?"

They spent a while arguing about different, stupid things (elephants never forget "I'm not an elephant, Kasey.", ducks breath out of their butts "Yes they do." "No they don't!", that Weeping Angels are real "Don't Blink!", and even more), but Logan knew what was really going on. Kasey was attempting to distract him from his flash.

And her attempts were working.

The racing thoughts were disappearing, the tightness was fading, and his vision was finally clear. He was unbelievably grateful for her tactics and he told her so when they were saying goodbye.

She giggled. "Of course you are."

A minute later they hung up, Logan feeling loads better than he did before. He took a breath and got up, rubbing his sore arms. There were red crescent moons imprinted into his arms, he knew that without looking. Past experiences. Deep enough to bleed, but shallow enough the skin didn't break.

His mom hadn't called him just yet so he figured he could use this tine to put up the last of his pictures, painting, and posters. There were some photographs from before he moved and some from Texas. Then there was a painting of him, Kasey, Misha, Brain, and Victoria—better known as the Freaky Five and his friends from Texas—he did that one for an art assignment. Then the one from before he moved, that one made him cringe every time he looked at it. It was poorly done (he was such an amateur back then) and the four of them looked so awkward. Like they didn't know what to do with themselves. Especially him.

He'd need to make a new one. Really soon.

A couple more anatomy and virus posters went up near his desk and he dug out a medical textbook that some how ended up buried in his closet. Weird.

Now his room looked like he never left.


	4. October

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but writing for this archive has helped my writing skills in a way that I thought would never happen.

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><p>Concerning <strong>The Darker Side<strong>, BigTimeNinjaKitty has adopted it. I don't know when he's going to post it, but check out his other stories. I'm happy he's continuing it. He's a good writer.

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><p>Time of Our Lives<p>

Chapter 4

Mikkal

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><p><em>Summary:<em> Logan moved away during the summer, but four years later he's back, better than ever, and oh so different. Join the boys as they go through Minnesota, L.A, and the roller coaster ride of being everything but normal. And angst, don't forget the angst.

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><p><em>October: 11th grade: One week before Halloween<em>

"I forgot how cold it was in Minnesota! And it's only October!" Logan complained, making his friends laugh. He glared. "It's not funny."

Kendall chuckled. "Sorry, Loges, but it's a little funny. Big, tough Texan cowboy can't handle a little cold weather." He was quite comfortable in this weather, so were Carlos and James.

"Think about what you said." Logan buried himself in his sweat shirt, wishing he had grabbed his big, fluffy coat. "_Texan cowboy_. We're all about the heat and the sun. There's no such thing as cold."

"Oh toughen up," Carlos said, grinning. "We're gonna go skating, that'll warm you up."

"I hope," Logan muttered. "If I become a Logan popsicle I give you permission to throw me out in the desert to defrost."

James swung an arm around his freezing friend. "Don't worry, we'll be sure to throw you in a freezer instead," he said cheekily.

Logan shoved him. "You guys are such jerks," he shouted, grinning. "I need new friends."

"Aw, come on, Logie," Kendall said. "You don't mean that."

"My name's Logan."

"Logie."

"Logan."

"Logie."

"Logie was an art geek who was too clueless about everything to do anything," Logan gritted out, frustrated before he could stop himself. "My name's Logan."

There was a stunned silence before Carlos said, "And now you're not so clueless...but you're still Logie." That teasing tone cracked the tension.

Logan groaned. "There's a phrase I'm looking for...I said it about a minute ago." He snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah. I need new friends!"

"No you don't."

* * *

><p>"Halloween party, guys. You going?" Kim asked, leaning a bit too close to Logan for James' liking. She smiled at the oldest teen and twirled her hair around a finger, giggling when he made a science joke even though she had no idea what it even meant.<p>

James pressed his lips together and nodded. "Yeah, why wouldn't we? It's the party of the year!" He would not be jealous of Logan. He would not be jealous of Logan. _He would not be jealous of Logan Mitchell!_

Logan ruffled his raven hair a little. "I might be a little late, but yeah, I'll go."

"What in the world do _you _have to do, Loganator?" Carlos threw a fry at him.

He threw one back. "Stuff, Carlitos." Soon they were getting into a small food fight.

Ammo: Fries.

Carlos launched one back, dodging a ketchup covered one that came his way just barely. "Not fair! No condiments!"

Weapons: Hands. (Secret Weapon: Ketchup).

Logan stuck out his tongue and grabbed another fry only to be smacked in the face with a mustard (Secret Weapon 2: _Acid _Mustard) soaked one, the smell of vinegar and honey told him it was the school famous honey mustard. It was said to be able to eat through the floor.

He shouted and wiped his face hurriedly. "You cheated!" He accused, pointing a finger.

"You started it!"

Winner: Carlos!

"Seriously," Kendall asked, catching his breath after laughing hysterically at his two impossibly weird friends. "What do you have to do?"

He made a face, it was a mixture between an evil smirk and a _I feel sorry for the poor dude_ look. "I've gotta do a three-way prank call on Kevin with Kasey. It's a bit of a tradition."

The blond raised an eyebrow (are they getting bushier?). "Isn't Kevin the one who thinks he's a kola when he's drunk?"

"Yep, surprised you remember that."

"Maybe I'm the one with the photographic memory?"

James subtly pushed his way between Logan and Kim, making her pout while Logan didn't even notice a thing. "What kinda tradition?"

He shrugged. "Me and Kasey prank call someone from our school and act really creepy. We usually hang up before they realize who we are so we can keep it going. It's worked for three years, kinda. Almost the whole school's caught...except Kevin. We're hoping for one more round."

"How does this Kevin dude not know?" Carlos asked. Even he wasn't that oblivious.

Logan grinned. "Honestly, I have no idea. Kevin Griffin's not known for his intelligence." He tapped his head sarcastically. "Which is why Kasey chose him as our victim. It's going to be awesome."

"So you'll meet us at my house?" Kim asked, leaning around James. "The party's at my house."

He nodded, glancing at James strangely when he noticed the glare the taller teen was sending him. "Of course. I love Halloween, especially parties." He grabbed his friend by the arm and got up. "James, can you help me for a minute? I forgot something at my locker."

James nodded, not even questioning why Logan would need his help. He wanted to have a little talk with him anyway.

"What's your problem," Logan snapped, whirling around when they finally got to the locker area.

He was taken aback by the suddenness, but that didn't keep him from demanding, "Do you like Kim?"

Logan's eyes widened. "What? No! She's too flirty for my taste." He gave him a sly look. "Why? Do you like her?"

"No!" He said quickly...maybe too quickly.

Logan laughed breathlessly and leaned against the lockers, hand resting on his chest with his fingers bunching his shirt ever so slightly. "Dude, if you like her she's all yours. She's just a really flirty friend to me."

James smiled, a little ashamed. He should've known Logan wasn't that type of person. None of them were that type of person, they didn't go after another's love interest. "Thanks, man. Sorry about the whole glaring thing."

He waved away the apology. "Forget it. I totally understand." He grimaced and rubbed his chest.

His smile turned to a frown. "You okay?" Logan didn't look so good, he was a shade paler than five seconds ago and his breathing was a little shallow.

Logan forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat and grin. Snapping at one of his best friends brought on the static and the tightness. This was not good. This was not how he wanted them to find out...and they weren't going to find out. Not if he could help it. "I'm great. Just, I think it's the acid mustard. I'm pretty sure it's eating my face right now."

Yeah, that's right. Make a joke. That'll steer him off course.

James cracked a smile, but returned to the worried frown that Logan was beginning to dislike. A lot. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Uh, I have to see my bio teacher about something. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, of course."

Logan didn't really need to see his bio teacher. He planned to lock himself in the bathroom and texted Kasey for the rest of the lunch block. Planning their tradition was a sufficient way to distract himself from his flash. Yes, sufficient distraction.

He hated himself for this. He acted so strong but in reality he was just a little friendless geek trying to act like Superman. Hide behind a mask of swagger and lies. Lies that he was struggling to differentiate from truths. Just one bit of a thing could set off the flashes. Snapping at his friends. Dealing with the past. He'd handled it for so long. For four years. _Four years_. Why was it now that everything was crumbling around him?

There was a knock at the stall door, making him jump. He lifted his feet and slowed his breath until it could barely be heard. Maybe they were just trying to see if he was in there. If it looked like no one was there they'd go away, right?

"You underestimate your friends," came Kendall's voice. "James saw you go in here instead of downstairs where the science classrooms are."

"Yeah, well. I had to do something first." _Excuse. Excuse._

Lie. Excuse. Lie. Excuse. Was there a difference between them anymore? Logan wasn't sure and that a scary thought.

Kendall sighed. "Logan, it's been twenty minutes. I don't think that something takes twenty minutes."

_Got anymore excuses in that brain of yours? What are you thinking?_

The blond leaned against the door. "Logan. Is something wrong?" It was a gut feeling, and usually his gut feelings were right. Something was wrong, and as the unofficial official leader/protector it was his duty to fix whatever it was no matter how tragic. "You know you can tell me. We're best friends."

Logan laughed a little, the sound echoing. "I know we're friends." He unlocked the door. "Best friends. Brothers. But I'm fine." His smile looked real, crooking in the way that had all the girls in the school giddy...not that Logan would know that. He held up his phone. "I was texting Kasey, this is the only place where teachers aren't stalking you."

He was lying, or maybe he wasn't lying. Kendall let it slide for now, though. He didn't want to confront him about anything unless he was absolutely sure something bad was going on.

* * *

><p>Kendall tried to keep them from drinking, but as teenage boys James and Carlos couldn't help themselves. At least they were smart enough not to drink too much.<p>

...he hoped.

It was Logan he was worried about. I know, weird. But, Kim had much stronger drinks than beer and had punch and orange juice to mix it with. He didn't know anything about Logan's habits when it came to underaged drinking other that he didn't like beer.

He didn't want to find out the hard way what it was.

Old Logan wouldn't even think about going to a party, let alone drinking anything stronger than water at one. This Logan wasn't old Logan, this was new Logan with new likes and dislikes and spontaneous actions that left Kendall more than worried.

As the night carried on, though, and the party got wilder, he never caught even one glimpse of Logan. Neither did Carlos and James, who were just tipsy enough to be crazier than usual but sober enough to have a decent conversation with.

Kendall was tempted to leave and go check his house and about two hours before the official end of the party he decided to leave. His friends completely agreed with him and followed him out, their own concern growing when Logan never answered any of his texts.

Did Mike Daniels get to him? As pay back for all the times Logan's slighted him since he got here?

He better have not or Kendall was going to re-arrange his face. And his ribs. And his entire life.

Carlos' phone rang and he answered it without looking. "Hello?"

"Where are you guys?"

"Logan!" He put the phone on speaker. "Where have you been?"

"Out in Kim's backyard." Logan snorted. "You mean to tell me you never looked outside? She has a pool! Do you know how many people have fallen in?" He chuckled. "I love clumsy drunks."

In the group Carlos would be pushing the drunks in, James would be high-fiving him and congratulating him, Kendall would dive in a save aforementioned drunk, and then Logan would just sit there and laugh hysterically.

They had a nice system going on.

Kendall sighed in relief, Logan wasn't in trouble. Good. But how the hell did they miss him?

"Guys, hurry up and come back! I know for a fact that you're on your way to my house."

"How do you know that?" James asked.

"'Cause I'm just that good," he whispered in his ear, chuckling evilly.

The tall brunette shrieked and jumped away, grabbing his ear. "_Don't do that!_"

Logan laughed again. "It's not my fault you guys fail to look outside and fail to notice I was following you." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Or I'm really the Doctor and I time traveled. Your pick." He tweaked his bow tied self-assuredly.

"You look like a nerd," James said flatly. "Oh wait. You _are _a nerd." He grinned teasingly.

He punched him in the arm. "So, we going back to the party or are we going to stand out here all night? I don't know about you, but this Doctor Who outfit isn't very warm." Tweed was worse than a sweat shirt in this weather.

"I said this before and I'll say this again," Kendall said, shaking his head ruefully. "_Texan cowboy._"


	5. November I

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but writing for this archive has helped my writing skills in a way that I thought would never happen.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm beginning to catch up with my pages. I accidentally quit writing this thing when I had about 15 or pages because I got caught up in Doctor Who and Party Animals and my own original stuff. The posting of each of these chapters have been so spaced out, and I'm sorry, but they're going to be even more spaced out now since the next chapter is barely written. I don't intend on abandoning this story or putting it up for adoption (much like The Darker Side taken up by BigTimeNinjaKitty), but it's going to take a while.<strong>

**Oh, and I hadn't realized this when I originally wrote it, but the November chapter (which this is the first half of) was really long and not finished. So I divided it up. You get part one now and I'll eventually finish part two.  
><strong>

**And I'm glad people liked the Doctor Who reference. I normally don't make blatant references like that, normally it's just a character who shows up in a vague form of their character from their respective show, but I don't usually mention the shows. It's just, I wanted to mention the Doctor specifically, not the companions, you can't really do that in a reality based show when the character is a 900 plus old TIME LORD!  
><strong>

**By the way, my prom is Saturday. Yay!  
><strong>

**Author note...OVER!**

* * *

><p>Time of Our Lives<p>

Chapter 5

Mikkal

* * *

><p><em>Summary:<em> Logan moved away during the summer, but four years later he's back, better than ever, and oh so different. Join the boys as they go through Minnesota, L.A, and the roller coaster ride of being everything but normal. And angst, don't forget the angst.

* * *

><p><em>November<em>

He scowled at them and crossed his arms. "_Not a word_," he hissed.

Carlos giggled and didn't listen, as usual. "Loges, you've got a bit of paint riiiight here." He touched his own cheek.

Logan humored him and wiped his cheek, only to smear the paint splattered on his face. He groaned and rubbed his cheek again, peeling of his skin and still just smearing the paint. "You've gotta be kiddin' me."

"What happened?" James asked, trying to hold in the laughter.

"Jenny," he said simply, like that explained everything...which it kind of did. "You'd think the county would learn not to give her a class full of sharp, pointy objects and toxic paint and giant ovens." He had a horrified look on his face. "I fear for my life every other day when I have class with her."

James shuddered and reached up to protect his hair. Jenny was the devil in disguise, always causing problems. Mostly only for the guys, strangely enough.

"We will always remember you," Carlos said solemnly. "I'll bring brains to your funeral...just in case you become a zombie."

Logan chuckled. "Oh thank you, Carlos, I don't know what I'd do with out you!"

"And now off to practice!" James announced dramatically. "Onwards ho!"

"I am not a hoe," Carlos sniffed.

"Ya sure about that?"

Logan yelped when Carlos pushed him into a group of girls and tackled him in return.

They all made their way down the street to the rink, about a block away. Kendall and James were discussing the team's plans for beating Duluth High at their next game with Logan throwing in advice every now and then when he could. Logan came in too late to actually make the team, tryouts had been at the end of last year, but he managed to convince the coach he would make an excellent assistant and he participated in some practices in order to help the guys out.

It sucked that he couldn't actually be on the team, but, hey, you can't get everything!

Kendall suddenly stopped, a smirk forming on his face. He stumbled a little when Carlos and Logan, still arguing, bumped into him.

"Dude, why'd you stop?" Carlos asked, rolling his eyes when James took out his lucky comb to run it through his air into this moment of pause.

The blonde glanced from the field hockey field to the tantalizing object in front of him. The janitor left the T-Bar in the sprinkler value. This was good, this was very good.

Logan glanced at him at the perfect moment to see that smirk and followed his eye line to the T-Bar. "Kendall, don't even think about it."

"This is an opportunity that comes once in a life time!"

* * *

><p>"It's not fair!" James complained, for once not dramatically. He was actually upset. "I don't understand why I didn't get picked."<p>

Logan sighed and ran a hand through his short hair before running it through James' hair, his head on the shorter teen's lap. Which proved exactly how upset James really was, he would never, _ever_ let someone touch his hair unless it was a situation like this. "Neither do I. Honestly, Kendall isn't the best singer."

And he wasn't. Kendall admitted it more than several times over the course of their entire lives. He only did chorus because James wanted him to and he didn't want his mom to spend the money on buying or renting an instrument for band or orchestra.

"You're just as good as Mitchell Henderson," Carlos assured. "In fact, you're better than Henderson."

Logan nodded his agreement, poking James in the forehead to get the brunette to focus on him. "You can't let someone like Gustavo Rocque get to you. I know he's great and all, but there's people so much better."

"But this was my chance!" He waved his arms wildly, almost hitting Logan in the face. "He was here! I was on stage with _Gustavo Rocque_ waiting for me to sing. When is it going to be that easy to have a chance?"

"Gustavo's an idiot for saying no to you," Kendall said, announcing his entrance into Logan's basement. He lifted James' legs and collapsed on the couch, letting his legs settle on his lap. "No one's going to be like Mitchell Henderson, and everyone's an idiot for looking for someone like him..." He gave them all a shift-y eyed look. "...And I told him no."

"_What_?" James shouted, shooting up and glaring at his friend. "Why?" He demanded.

Kendall shrugged. "The guy's a jerk. And I don't want to sing, I wanna play hockey."

"But he could make you famous!" If he couldn't do it, then someone had to, No matter how angry James was at Kendall he wasn't going deny his friend the chance to do something amazing. This was a once in a life time opportunity!

"Being famous isn't good enough," he said. "I wanna be famous and do something I love at the same time. I don't love singing. I _like _singing, but I don't _love_ it. And plus, you guys wouldn't be there. Logan's gonna join hockey for senior year, that gives us a full year to spend hours upon hours together. And then college hits, we're going to different school and different jobs. I leave now and we lose that year together."

He made a valid point. A very sad, very depressing valid point. But it was still a valid point.

"What if we went with you?" Logan surprised himself and his friends by saying. A sudden tightness exploded in his chest. What the hell was he saying? He coughed and breathed in as deeply as he could. Why would he say that? He wanted to be a doctor, there was no more singing for him. Medical school and doctor, that was his future. Going to L.A would put him so far behind.

"What are you saying, Loges?" Carlos asked, almost repeating verbatim what was going through the slightly taller teen's head.

Logan worked around the tight lump in his heart to say, "We could go together..." He scrambled to make this work, back track through his thoughts. A working thing could come out of this. There had to be one. "You could work for Gustavo, put in a couple good words for James while he tried around Hollywood for his own gig. I mean, it's Hollywood, it couldn't be that hard to find something. And Carlos would easily find something to do. I could get into a private school around there. We wouldn't be going to school together, but we could rent an apartment...or something..."

Okay, that sounded lamer said out loud than in his head. But he just got his friends back, he didn't want to lose even one of them so soon.

Kendall shook his head. "That doesn't even sound like it would work." He smiled sadly at Logan as an apology. His face lit up suddenly, a wide smile coming to his face. "I do have an idea, though. Logan, your grades are great, right?"

Logan raised an eyebrow, smugness shining through. The tightness going away now that the focus was gone from his admittedly stupid idea. "Of course they are, why wouldn't they be?" He worked hard on those grades! Straight As since halfway through eighth grade, after pulling his act together and finally decided being a doctor was better than being an artist. So. Many. College. Classes. DE, AP, the works.

"Great enough you could take community college classes...online maybe? In replace of DE and AP classes?"

"Yeah, but what does—oooohhhh." Logan grinned. "I like that idea." Then he frowned. "What about your hockey thing?"

He waved his hand dismissively. "I can always learn to love singing just as much as I love hockey. Plus, I'll have you guys. That was my main worry anyway."

Carlos stared at them. "What the heck are you guys talking about? It's not fair, you're using your freaky ESP thing."

Logan and Kendall exchanged knowing looks, their smiles getting bigger.

"There it is again!"

James frowned, his head going back and forth between his friends. "What are you guys talking about? Really, you're freaking me out."

This couldn't be good. Or maybe it could? It was hard to tell with these two.

Kendall pulled out his phone and dialed a number he accidentally memorized last night. "It's Kendall Knight," he said simply, still smiling. "I'm not saying yes, but I'm not saying no. What if we made a deal?"


	6. November II

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush**

**Author's Note: Ummm, sorry?**

* * *

><p>Time of Our Lives<p>

Chapter 6

Mikkal

* * *

><p><em>November<em>

Big Time Rush was spread out near the Palm Woods pool. James had picked up the whole tanning thing (with much warning from Logan about cancer and how he should wear sunscreen), Carlos was trying to get the attention of the Jennifers, Logan was sitting at one of the tables trying to get some college work done, and Kendall was standing, stretching bi—_Smack!_

Kendall grabbed his stinging cheek. "What was that for?" He exclaimed.

Camille just grinned before smothering it behind an over-dramatic wail of emotional pain and a deep frown. "How dare you! With my mom in the hospital and just before prom! I thought we had something! Something special!"

Logan chuckled behind him. "You have to admit she's good," he commented nonchalantly.

She glanced at him, her acting faltering for just a moment. It was obvious to everyone, but Logan himself that the eccentric actress had a little bit of a crush on the smart teen. Camille shook her head and left in an equally over-dramatic huff.

"She likes you," Kendall teased.

He snorted. "No she doesn't. She's just...Camille," he said, as if it explained everything...which it sort of did.

Whoa, deja vu.

"Boys!" Kelly stalked up to them. "You're needed at the studio, now!"

James tilted his sunglasses down to stare at her. "Don't we have cellphones for this type thing?"

She scowled at him. "Not the time, James. Griffin's making a big change in the band and we need you all there to tell you officially."

"_What_?" Four voices shouted.

"There aren't suppose to be any changes without talking to us first," Logan argued, snapping his laptop shut. That was the rule, he and Kendall worked hard on those rules. You can't just forget about the rules!

Kelly frowned apologetically. "Unfortunately, those rules were made for _Gustavo_, not Griffin. He's the one who owns all of our butt so if we don't listen to him we're screwed."

They had no choice but to pile into the studio's black car. Kendall in front, the other three in the back. Hopefully he could get some information out of the assistant before they faced the boss and the beast (Carlos' nickname for Griffin, the man kind of scared him).

"What does he want to do?" Kendall asked. He glanced back at his friends. James looked nervous, was he afraid Griffin was going to rip up their contract? Carlos looked oblivious but he kept shooting glances at Kendall, he just didn't want to get in trouble. Logan looked bored, but there was fear in his eyes, was all their hard work going to get washed down the drain?

"He wants to put an edge on the band," Kelly said after a moment of silence, her face twisted in a grimace. "He wants a bad boy. He even said, 'every band needs a bad boy.' One of you has to be the bad boy."

"_What_?"

Why did it always come to that? All four of them shouting 'what' at the same time? Did they plan that or something?

"We can't have bad boy. That's not who we are!" Kendall protested. "We could never be mean or nasty or rude. We're suppose to be who we are, not what the music world wanted us to be. I thought that was our image?"

She sighed. "And that's what Griffin was afraid of. He wants more money. And four cute, wholesome boys may get some money, but by making one of you the rebel he can get the money from the rebel side of society."

"He's already planned for this?" Logan asked, surprised. He scowled a second later. "Of course he has. Griffin plans for _everything_."

Kelly nodded in agreement. Griffin was the topic of one of many conversations she and Logan often had about the band's management (since Logan was the most level headed one out of all them) and he managed to notice what very few people noticed—Griffin often thought years in advance, the whole boy band making a comeback think was Plan 21K (officially) made two years ago in preparation of Gustavo's eventual need to make his own comeback.

(Did she mention she copied his keys and read most of his files? Oh wait, was she not suppose to do that?)

"He can't add another person to the band!" Logan exploded, much to the surprise of his friends. "All of our songs are written four-part, not five!" It would completely ruin everything.

Kendall's eyes widened. Four-part, all their songs were four part. Kendall, James, Carlos, Logan. That meant, possibly...oh God.

"One of us is going to get kicked out," James said quietly.

There was stunned silence for the rest of the ride. None of them knew what to say. It just seemed so... impossible. After just getting back together and finally having a chance to do something they all (admittedly) enjoyed doing _together_ they were going to have ripped away just like that? Sure that one guy could stay in LA, maybe even at the Palm Woods, but it wouldn't be the same.

Kendall was worried. Like, seriously worried. Worried and concern, and angry. Very angry.

Wayne-Wayne (_snort_, seriously?) was the bad, not-so-bad, bad boy. He apparently was very known in the entertainment business and had a good standing with Griffin. And either Logan or Carlos were on the list for possible kick-outs because of their..._something._ No one would elaborate on it and Wayne-Wayne was a douche so who knows what was going to end up happening.

If they didn't do something smart and fast they were so screwed.

So, that listed what he was angry about, but not the worried.

Logan was no where to be seen. He wasn't anywhere in the apartment, nor was he at the pool, he wasn't in the park, or at the little cafe nearby. His laptop was gone and so was his book bag, but his car keys were still sitting on his desk.

That gut feeling was back, the one that told him everything, something was wrong and it all had at least _something_ to do with Logan.

The brunette Jennifer (the nicer one) noticed his worry when they passed each other in the hallway. She looked both ways before whispering, "Try the library," and rushing into her apartment with a slight flush to her cheeks.

Kendall stared at her closed door in surprise before smacking himself. The library, of course! He was such an idiot. He all but ran down and out of the Palm Woods to the library about two blocks away. If Logan wanted to be absolutely alone then the library was the best bet, James and Carlos _never_ went there.

He, on occasion, did, but that was only because of Logan!

And sure enough, Logan was sitting at one of the back tables, surrounded by books with his head down. He wasn't typing, he wasn't studying, he wasn't even sleeping (Logan had a tendency to snore), he was just...laying there.

His stomach twisted itself into a series of knots. He shuffled over to his friend, trying to be quiet, and his eyes widened in alarm when he heard muffled whimpering.

"Logan?"

Logan shot up with a strangled gasp, face pale and eyes wide. His fingers were tangled in his shirt, just over his heart, and his eyes were a little bright. "K-Kendall!"

"Who else would it be?" He joked. He slid into the seat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "What's wrong?"

And then suddenly Logan just shut down. He was still all smiles, when was he ever not nowadays?, but a wall closed around his eyes, turning them happy and oh-so-fake.

"Nothing," he said casually—too causally. "Just studying. If Carlos gets to stay then I need to have good grades, right?"

_If Carlos gets to stay._ Not, _if I get kicked out_. No, the longer Logan avoided saying those words the longer her could let himself believe this gig was going to last for him. He knew deep down (maybe not so deep) it was going to be him who Wayne-Wayne was going to replace.

What Kendall couldn't understand why Logan felt like this. It was...unusual. This wasn't like the Logan he had gotten to relearn about the last few months.

"No one's going to get kicked out," the blond argued. "Seriously, Logan, what's wrong? This isn't like you. Usually you're ready to fight back, you _hate_ bullies. And Wayne-Wayne's a _bully_."

Logan bit his lip and rubbed his neck. Man, Kendall hadn't seen that action in such a long time. His face was still pale, but he breathing was a bit easier. It was forced, obviously. Forced deep breaths.

"Kendall," he said quietly. "Just... go away."

"No." He felt a flare of anger, but tried to push it down. It worked...kind of. "I'm worried, Loges. You can't just tell me to go away. You're hiding something and you've been hiding something since you moved back. It's hurting you. I'm you friend, you can tell me what's wrong," this time it was more demanding.

And this time Logan was completely silent, there was no anger on his face nor did he bit his lip again. He glanced at his taller friend and looked away quickly.

"We need to come up with a way to get rid of him," Logan muttered.

There was always that split second where Kendall knew he was so close to finding out what was wrong and only to end up even farther from the answer than he was before. This was one of those split seconds. It was almost as if Logan wanted to tell him, but something was holding him back.

Kendall nodded, deciding not to push Logan. There was a certain time and place for that, this wasn't it. "I've got a plan. Grab your stuff, we'll meet up with James and Carlos."

* * *

><p>"I'm guessing it worked?" Katie asked with a giant smile on her face.<p>

Carlos and James high-fived, laughing hysterically. Logan rolled his eyes with a grin on his face, Kendall ruffled his baby sister's hair.

"Of course it did," the blond said smugly. "I planned it."

"With my help," Logan added.

"And my fashion advice," Katie reminded him. "You'd look like a freak with out my advice."

Kendall wrinkled his nose and ran a hand through his hair. His face still felt really heavy even though he'd been wearing the make up for hours now and it really wasn't _that_ much. "Yeah, yeah, I look a little bit like a freak even with your advice."

"Aw, but you look so pretty," Carlos teased.

He smacked him and headed to the bathroom. "I'm gonna wash this crap off my face. I'll meet you at the pool."

His friends yelled affirmatives and there was a stampede as they rushed out the door. They didn't really want to be here if that make-up didn't come off. Kendall shuddered at the thought. What if it didn't?

Katie followed him to the bathroom, an evil smirk on her face that he was afraid to know what for. "Do ya think Wayne-Wayne is gonna try and get revenge? 'Cause if he is, I can totally help!...you guys..." she added lamely.

Kendall shot her a glare and rolled his eyes. "Probably. It's gonna be on me since I'm the one who ruined his chance of makin' it big."

"You hope it's gonna be you."

...That was true. If it was going to be any of the guys Wayne-Wayne was going to find himself beaten to the floor and his entire bank account wiped clean (thanks to Katie).

He did manage to get all the makeup off and head down to the pool. Joining the guys just in time to help Carlo gang up on James and Logan. He jumped Logan and shoved him under water, practically sitting on him until he scrambled off.

The other teen appeared to the surface, sputtering. "Cheater!" He lunged at the taller teen and wrestled him into the water.

"Sore loser!"

"Jerk!"

"Die!"

Logan grabbed him in a choke hold and James grabbed his feet. Together they shoved Kendall down and turned their attention on Carlos, who backed up with his hands in the air.

"J-James," he stuttered, looking a bit frightened. "Come on, James. Don't do this. I thought we were on the same side?"

There was no clear winner. James and Carlos jumped Logan after the youngest teen's display of of his great acting skills, but then James jumped Carlos in an act of betrayal. When the tall teen celebrated his victory Kendall recovered enough to smother him, but ended up slipped and dunking himself as well.

Like I said, no real winner.

Logan shook his head to clear his ears of water and checked his waterproof watch. "Oh crap. I'm suppose to do a video-chat with one of my teachers in ten minutes. I look like a drowned rat." He hoisted himself out of the pool and grabbed a towel.

Kendall raised an eyebrow. "Which teacher?"

"Mrs. Aragon."

James lit up. "Oohh, the really hot one?"

"She's married."

"Doesn't make her any less hot."

The blond shook his head, grinning. "It's not like she'll care if you're five minutes late." Dude, not only was the teacher was hot, but she as also an awesome person. She gave Logan so much leeway it was ridiculous.

"I'll care," Logan shot back. He turned and left quickly, almost slipping on some water when he did. He put a little extra swagger in his step to make it seem like he didn't just almost have an accident.

Carlos snorted and shook his head. "Idiot... Jennifer!" He shouted, scrambling out of the pool to rush to brunette Jennifer's side and completely ignoring the other two.

"Should someone go with Logan?" James asked, running a hand through his hair.

Kendall glanced at him, corner of his lips twitching into a smile. Who ever said James was a selfish person was dead wrong. "I will," he said. "You make sure Carlos doesn't hurt himself trying to impress the Jennifers."

Maybe they should direct him towards the brunette Jennifer. She was a lot nicer and while all three of them can be helpful time to time she was the one who seemed more willing. She and Carlos would be good together.

There was a crash and some screams making the two of them flinch and laugh. Looked as if they were a little too late.

James clapped him on the shoulder and headed over to help their Carlitos. Kendall grabbed a towel and headed to the lobby, snorting when he felt the soaked carpet. Bitters was going to ticked off about that. They were supposed to "dry themselves off before entering the lobby for the safety of the other patrons."

In the hallway before their apartment door Logan was leaning against the wall and chatting with Camille (who was, surprisingly enough, not currently in one of her "roles"). They were both smiling and laughing, Camille was even blushing a little.

Kendall shook his head with a fond smile. "Aren't you suppose to be rushing to get ready for your teacher? You have five minutes."

Logan waved him away and continued chatting. Kendall waiting patiently, arms crossed and eye brow raised.

Three.

Two.

One.

"Oh shit!"

Zero.

Houston, we have realization.

Logan smacked himself on the forehead and rushed an apology to Camille. Kendall took the shorter teen's spot when Logan finally made it through the door.

"He likes you," Kendall teased. Laughing a little when Camille's blushed turned redder.

It was a little ironic. Camille liked Logan, who didn't notice because he was that dense. And Logan liked Camille, who was sure he didn't.

"Yeah right," she said. For once she sounded like a teenage girl instead of a 25-year-old woman trying to act like a teenage girl in a horrible daytime soap opera. "Honestly, Kendall, if you're going to resort to teasing, at least pick something realistic." There was a smile on her lips and she kept glancing towards the closed door proving that she really didn't mean what she said. "I'm gonna head out. Tell Logan to call me when he's done talking to Mrs. Aragon."

And then she disappeared. Kendall watched her go. He frowned when he spotted someone peeking around the hall corner. They were short and wearing a ridiculous hoodie and hilariously large sunglasses, several large gold chains around their neck.

He sighed. Wayne-Wayne. Of course, the petty man wouldn't just give up. But who was he stalking? Logan or Kendall? Not James or Carlos since they were at the pool. If it was Logan did that mean if Kendall or Camille (or maybe not even then with her) hadn't been here Logan would've gotten jumped?

That wasn't a pleasant thought.

He glared at Wayne-Wayne until he was gone and entered the apartment himself. There was no way Logan was going anywhere alone for the next few weeks.

* * *

><p><em>Thanksgiving<em>

Thanksgiving, strangely enough, wasn't that big of a fan fare. Okay, not strangely enough for Kendall because the Knights weren't big on the multiple huge dishes and a turkey (Katie didn't even like turkey so that was a no go).

But the Diamonds always had a huge feast and party. James kept saying over and over again that not having it like his family was perfectly fine (Kendall was sure the taller teen was glad to get out of the social mess, just have it as a nice family thing instead of being in the spotlight).

Carlos was homesick and didn't mind not being reminded of his home (though, he didn't say no when Mama Knight bought all the ingredients to make the most authentic Mexican food as possible as a side dish of their holiday. He said he didn't want to be reminded of home, not food).

And then Logan just apparently didn't have Thanksgiving for the past four years (according to him he was working every Thanksgiving with his dad (not at the stable, that was part-time) so the family holiday still turned out to be a family holiday even without the food).

So their Thanksgiving dealt with a chicken as their main course (for Katie), Mexican dishes that Carlos devoured, and then after their early meal they, along with Camille and Jo (who showed up a few days ago and became attached to the band) went to help out those less fortune.

For the last week Kendall had been sticking close to Logan. He had warned James about Wayne-Wayne, but Kendall was the one who kept close. James was keeping an eye on Carlos. The stupid "bad boy" hadn't tried anything yet, but he didn't want to let his guard down.

Who knew when the idiot was going to strike?

The day after Thanksgiving Kendall headed to their room while James and Carlos ganged up on Katie with video games. From the screaming coming from the living room his friends were losing painfully against his baby sister.

"For the last time, Kasey," he heard Logan say through the door from their shared room. "No. Don't bother my dad."

He ignored the little tear in his heart from the fact that Logan called his Texas friend up so often when he lost touch with the three of them pretty quickly. It wasn't fair to Logan or Kasey to feel this way. They were friends through those, what his mom liked to call, "developmental" years so it made sense that they were close like this. But it still hurt a little.

Kendall knocked lightly on the door and walked in. Logan was leaning against the headboard of his bed, laptop on his lap, phone to his ear and his comforter bunching in his free hand. When he saw Kendall he quickly let go of his comforter. He rolled his eyes while gesturing at his phone; the blonde couldn't help but laugh at the exasperated look on the other teen's face.

"No," Logan said firmly. "Brian, Vic. Stop her. I don't care how good my dad's pie is and how much he has left. You have your own family to hang out with. Break's only going to last a few more days, spend time with them."

The names Brian and Vic weren't ones he heard that often. Kasey was the number one Texas friend Logan talked about. There were the comments about Kevin's lack of intelligence. Then Brian and Vic were mentioned every now and then, usually when Logan was talking about some mess he and the Freaky Five (what he liked to call them and Kevin was not included) got into. It was only then Misha was mentioned.

So Logan was probably talking to all three of them either by speaker or conference calling.

Logan rolled his eyes again as Kendall started rummaging through his stuff to find an old video game he just remembered he had.

"If I don't get the pie than neither do you, it's that simple," he argued. "No, Brain, you're not allowed to eat the pie while you're talking to me. That's rude…Oh you ass!" He exclaimed. "Hi, Dad," he said meekly.

Kendall tried really hard to muffle his laughter, but Logan heard any way and gave him the bird for his efforts. "Sorry," he mouthed without being sorry at all.

"Why did you give them pie?" Logan complained good-naturally. "That's not fair!...Oh, there's some heading my way express? I'm sure the guys will love it." He grinned at Kendall and gave him a thumbs up. "Okay, I gotta go, you jerks. Yeah, yeah, love you too. Talk to you later." And then he hung up.

"Everything good in Texas?" Kendall asked.

"Yep!" Logan said happily. "Everything's perfect." He got quiet for a moment. "I gotta make a call later, though, and I don't really want to make it. But I do."

Probably about Misha and his parents.

Logan shook his head. "I'll make it later." He leveled Kendall with a look. "I'm not clueless, Ken. Why can't I go anywhere alone?"

Kendall froze where he was hunched over a suitcase he never unpacked and just shoved into the closet instead. "What do you mean?"

"A better question would be "I was wondering when you were going to notice."…Though that's not a question." Logan never took his gaze of the blonde. "What's going on? Is this about Wayne-Wayne? I thought we were done with him?"

"We are!" Kendall assured.

Logan didn't say anything in return, just sat there staring at him expectantly.

"Okay," Kendall finally relented. "Remember when you went up to talk to Mrs. Aragon after the pool and in the hallway talking to Camille?" When Logan nodded he continued with, "I say Wayne-Wayne watching you. I couldn't help imagine what would happen if Camille wasn't there. Or even if she was there if Wayne-Wayne would still do something. What if _I _hadn't been there?"

"Oh." Logan smiled. "Kendall. Thank you, but, really, I _can_ take care of myself." He shook his head. "It may not seem like it, but it takes more than a simple bully to hurt me anymore." _Anymore _broke a little in the middle, but both of them ignored it.

"He's more than a simple bully," Kendall countered. "He may act like one, but he's got money and the means to hurt you more than a lot."

Logan thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Okay," he said. "You have a point. I'll talk to Kelly next time we go in the studio. Let's see if we can get rid of him before he actually tries anything."

A little bit of the weight Kendall had been carrying around on his shoulders lifted a bit. He sighed in relief. He had been worried Logan was just going to treat this like a joke. You couldn't be too sure how he was going to react to things anymore. And that was a little scary.


	7. December

_Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush._

None of my stories have been abandoned. Promise. And there are no cop-outs in this story.

* * *

><p>Time of Our Lives<p>

Mikkal

Chapter 7

* * *

><p><em>December: Beginning<em>

Even with Logan warning Kelly and Freight Train upping his security a bit and Jo and Camille both on the look out, Kendall hardly ever leaving Logan's side and Carlos now in the know-how so both he and James were on guard duty something still happened.

And, boy, Kendall was pissed.

He stormed into the living room livid, grumbling unintelligently under his breath. Katie rolled her eyes from where she was on the couch dabbing a bleeding cut on Logan's temple while he, himself, was holding an ice back on the entirety of the right side of his face to get both a black eye and a bruised bottom lip. James was on the phone, talking rapidly with Kelly while Carlos was making another ice pack for Logan's shoulder.

"Ken, I'm fine," he said. "You should see the other guy."

That was when Kendall exploded. "I shouldn't have to the see the other guy because the _other guy _shouldn't have done this!" He tugged at his hair. "God damnit!"

"Watch your language!" His mom snapped.

Kendall, for the most part, ignored her. "How did Wayne-Wayne get so close?" He whirled around to face Freight Train. "Why weren't you looking out for him?"

"It's not his fault," Logan yelled, jumping up. "Damnit, Kendall."

"That's it," Mrs. Knight shouted. She grabbed Logan by the uninjured shoulder and made him sit down. The oldest teen winced at the jostling movement. "Logan, stay," she ordered. She turned to Kendall. "If you don't calm down, young man, I'm sending you to your room." She put up a hand when Kendall tried to talk. "_No_. You are _this _close to being shut out of this for good. This is something that's going to be handled legally. Celebrities can't assault celebrities."

"There's evidence," Logan piped up. "Thanks, Carlos," he said, taking the ice pack. He winced again when he put it on his shoulder. "Surveillance camera in the back of Palm Woods." He pushed Katie away with a small smile. "Kendall, this wasn't Freight Train's fault. I'm the one who slipped from his protection."

Freight Train glared at him and he grinned sheepishly and mumbled "sorry."

Kendall opened his mouth to swear again but James finished his phone call just in time to slap his hand over the younger teen's mouth.

Mrs. Knight sat down next to Logan and put a comforting hand on her arm. "Logan, before we call the police, I want you to tell me why you slipped away from Freight Train's protection."

Logan flushed and looked down at his knees. "I just needed a moment to myself," he muttered. "I didn't realize when I said we could tell Kelly that I was going to get a bodyguard 24/7. I'm not _that _important."

"You're _very _important," James insistent. "Without you there's not Big Time Rush. We're all in this together."

Katie started humming under her breath, smirking. Carlos shot her a look and grinned.

"I like to be alone sometimes," Logan said. "I can't have someone watching over every little action that I do. It's stifling and makes my skin itch." He chewed on his bottom lip, the pink on his face deepening.

The door opened and Kelly walked in just in time to hear that last part. "The best part is that you don't have to. Wayne-Wayne, or Wally, just got arrested for drunk driving. Seems he needed a little bit of the courageous juice to finally confront you. Those charges but assault of a minor, he's going to get a hell of a lot more than just community service."

"That's good," Mrs. Knight said firmly. "This is not something I want repeated," she scolded. "Next time this happens I don't want you handling it on your own. And, if for some reason, you do handle it on your own. You better come to me if it escalates into violence. Got me?" She eyed each of the boys and Katie until all five of them were nodding and mumbling, "yes ma'am."

Mrs. Knight pressed her lips together and shook her head ruefully. "Go get cleaned up, Logan. Dinner will be ready in an hour." She gestured to Kelly. "We'll talk in the kitchen. Freight Train, you're more than welcomed to stay for dinner."

The younger women smiled. "Great, I've been meaning to ask you about your recipes." She followed her into the kitchen, calling over her shoulder, "And you're off tomorrow, Train. After than you're back to be a normal body guard instead of Logan's personal protector."

Freight Train grinned when Logan blushed again. Kendall rolled his eyes and ushered Logan into the bathroom.

"Carlos, grab the first aid kit!" James called, heading into Logan and Kendall's shared room to grab some sweats.

"I can take care of myself!" Logan whined, trying to shove Kendall's hands off of him. "Jeez, Ken-doll. Over-protective much. I told you, I'm fine. Just a little bruised."

Kendall ignored him and opted for saying, "What the hell were you thinking, slipping from Freight Train? I thought you were suppose to be the smart one? That wasn't smart _at all_."

"I know," Logan snapped. Kendall stepped back a little at the harshness. Though, Kendall had to admit to himself that shoving Logan into a corner like that was probably a bad idea. He, of all people, knew Logan wasn't the same dude he knew back then. "Okay," Logan continued, oblivious to Kendall's inner monologue. "I just needed a moment, like a said. I just needed to—." He cut himself off and shook his head. "You know what, never mind. Can you just take that I needed a moment?"

Kendall stared at him for a moment before nodded reluctantly. "Whatever you're not telling me, Logan." He saw Logan swallow thickly and he changed directions. "Whatever you're not telling me, that's fine. I won't force you. Just know I'm here if you ever need to talk. I don't want you to keep hurting yourself."

"I'm fine," Logan muttered. "I'm not hurting myself, Ken."

Kendall bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from telling Logan that he was wrong. He could see exactly how the older teen was treating himself. He _was _hurting himself.

This wasn't over, not by a long shot.

* * *

><p><em>A Few Days Later<em>

Logan leaned over Kendall's shoulder, trying to keep his amusement off his face as James freaked out behind them. "Mitchell Henderson is really letting us do this? What about his fans? Won't they be pissed?"

Kelly waved her hand dismissively. "We've got the permission. If he doesn't like how we changed the songs then he can give us a call. We're going to send Henderson the demos anyway, to see how he likes it. He can soften the blow to his fans."

"Besides," Gustavo shouted—because that seemed to be the only level his voice had—. "He's the one that contacted us. Said they were unused songs and not on the overflow albums he's putting out."

"How many more albums is he putting out anyway?" Carlos asked.

"He's not," James said, still bouncing slightly in excitement. "His manager in. Mitchell Henderson is completely off the grid—well, more off the grid. And his manager says it's only a few more albums, some of them aren't even finished."

"Jeez," Kendall muttered. "How many songs did he record?"

"Apparently a lot," Logan muttered back, grinning. "And it's not just him, he's let a few friends sing a duet or even a solo here and now."

Kendall looked back down at the list of songs, Logan still over his shoulder. There weren't that many songs. Just four songs. _Paralyzed, Time of Our Life, Nothing Even Matters, Epic_. Snippets of the lyrics had been post on the internet, all credit to Mitchell Henderson so Logan was in full right to worry about the fan back-lash.

"_Nothing Even Matters_ is the first song we're going to record," Kelly said, marking something down on the PDA she was carrying around. "It's going to go on your first album, get the fans use to the fact that we're going to use his songs."

"And make sure we know they're not going to kill us," Kendall added. "'Cause I would really, _really _like not to be killed. I'm too young to die."

"You've lived a full live," Logan chimed in. "You're never to young to die."

"Cheery," Kelly said. "Very uplifting, Logan, you should be a self-help guru or something. Your words are wisdom."

Carlos laughed and Logan stuck out his tongue, making a face. The oldest finally turned away and grabbed James' shoulder, effectively stilling the bouncing, excited teen.

"You're going to hurt yourself," he said.

James practically vibrated. "I'm so excited! This is so amazing! We're doing _Mitchell Henderson _songs!"

"Really?" Kendall said sarcastically. "We are? I hadn't noticed!"

James jaw dropped in shock before he shook his head and pointed an accusing finger at the blond. "Not funny, Ken! I thought you were serious!"

"Even I knew he wasn't serious," Carlos said.

"Not helping!"

"I don't see how I could help anyway."

Logan shook his head, laughing. Kendall rolled his eyes, leaning back to enjoy the show in a much more comfortable position.

James was _this _close to tackling the young Latino when Kelly pushed them away from each other and planted herself sturdy in the middle.

"The recording starts tomorrow," she said. "Gustavo," she gestured to where the large man was tinkering with the piano, trying to put _Nothing Even Matters_ to music. Logan couldn't help but cringe at the singing. He never found the man to be a good singer. "Its going to work on the melody today, tomorrow you guys come in bright and early and we'll get started on the actual singing."

Kendall shot up from his seat. "So we're done?" Kelly nodded. "Great! I've got a date with Jo." He rushed out the studio.

"Exit stage left," Logan said good-naturally. He almost expected for paper to be floating around and speed lines to follow the blond out the room, like a comic. James and Carlos were still glaring at each other, but it wasn't a big deal. Logan still kept them away from each other as Kelly left to make sure Gustavo didn't give himself a hernia. "Come on, guys. Let's go."

He had class so he left James and Carlos to fight near the pool, hoping they would fall in. It wasn't warm enough to swim, but it wasn't cold enough that they would freeze to death if they made a small splash.

"Logan!" Camille popped in front of him, making him jump.

"Jeez, Camille!" He rubbed his chest where his heart was threatening to beat out of his chest. "Don't do that!"

Camille grinned, but looked apologetic. "Sorry, I didn't mean to." She paused. "Okay, I did mean to, but I didn't mean it so much…If that makes sense."

He stopped rubbing his chest and let out a small breath of a laugh. "It's okay. Is there anything you need?"

She started fiddling with her hair, looking at him from beneath her eyelashes. "I want wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me tomorrow night," she said in a rush.

He blinked, letting it go through his brain before he said, "Uh, sure. Sounds great."

Camille squealed and hugged him, knocking the air right out his lungs. She jumped back, coughing slightly, and fixing her shirt. "Great," she said in an over-calm voice. He grinned at her attempt to seem composed when her face was turning red. "I'll see you then. Bye!" She turned and hopped off.

Poor Kendall and Jo, their date was just about to be interrupted by some excited babble.

He checked his watch and swore. Mrs. Aragon had let it slide the last time he was late, but if he was late one more time he was going to be stuck reading the dullest book she could think of. He was all for reading (even though science and math were more of his thing than English and History, though languages in general were pretty awesome), but Mrs. Aragon knew exactly what kind of book would put him to sleep. She'd probably give him a test and a paper on it too!

Logan rushed into his and Kendall's shared room, pulled out his computer and opened it. It flickered to life from its sleep and was slow to load Skype. But it did, just in time too.

Mrs. Aragon looked amused. "30 seconds to spare, Logan, I'm impressed."

He groaned. "I was at the studio."

She shook her head, sighing. "That's not an excuse, Mitchell, you know that. School comes before singing; you're the one who made the rule. Your mother, your guardian, your producer, and manager all agreed."

"I know, I know."

Mrs. Aragon eyed him then let it drop. "Just, be more on time. You're a bright young man, I'd hate for you to just throw it away."

He nodded. "I promise."

"Alright. Let's get started then."

* * *

><p><em>One Week Before Christmas<em>

"No, Kasey, don't say that. That's disgusting."

Kendall raised an eyebrow and peeked into the bedroom to see Logan sitting at his computer, a Word document open and used. He was using his shoulder to pin the phone against his ear.

He sighed. "I am _not _telling Carlos about that site. You _know _how he gets…Okay, well you don't _know-_know. But I've told you about it so you know a little!" He shoulders moved and Kendall could tell he was scowling, making the blonde smirk. "I do _not_ have a weak constitution!" He exclaimed scandalized. "The fact that I can't stand pictures of brutal accidents and murders does not mean I can't handle blood. It's the fact that these people are _dead_ and generally missing half their head!"

Even Kendall felt a little nausea at the thought. There was a website filled with these kind of pictures? Carlos would _love _that.

He knocked on the door to let the shorter teen know he was coming in. Logan glanced back at him, gave him a small smile in greeting then turned back to what was no doubt an essay for class. You would think even teachers like his would know that giving out homework on winter break was just cruel and unusual.

"Ugh, Brian, do _not _encourage her…Vic do something! Use your mind-control powers or something and get her to shut up. Knowing my luck Carlos is going to _somehow _over hear this, go to the website anyway then he and Katie will spend hours upon hours printing out the pictures and trying to figure out how they died and if it was murder or an accident."

Yeah, that sounded like something they would do. It was a little disturbing. And morbid. And gross.

Kendall searched through his things for his extra hockey puck. He and Jo were going to play a hockey game with just the two of them, but with two pucks. He finally convinced Jo to give _playing _hockey a try, but he didn't want to make it boring. It was going to be a fun game with some actual playing mixed in.

"What was that noise?"

He glanced up to see if Logan was talking to him only to find out that, no, he actually wasn't.

"No, that wasn't nothing. That sounded like an airport's PA system…Why are you guys at an airport?" Kendall was startled to notice Logan growing a shade paler with every breath. "Guys, _why_ are you at an _airport_?"

Kendall felt a flash of panic when he realized Logan wasn't breathing. He could hear a female shouting "_Logan! Logan!" _But he ignored that. He dropped the puck he just found and grabbed Logan's shoulders (gently, he was still a little sore).

The contact seemed to snap him out of whatever kind of funk he was in. He took a deep shuttering breath, closing his eyes, and gripping his phone so tight Kendall swore it creaked.

"Come on, Logie," Kendall said. "Keep breathing."

Logan did as told, biting his lip, and taking deep, forceful breaths.

"What the hell was that?" Kendall exclaimed, not letting of his friend.

The shorter teen shook him off and turned towards his desk, letting his head fall so his forehead smack against the surface. His phone was still to his ear and he was still too pale.

"Logan," Kendall said quietly. "What. The. Hell. Was. That?"

"I'm fine," he muttered. It took the blonde a moment to understand that he was talking to Kasey, who was still yelling something. At Logan's words the shouting stopped. His shoulders were jerking sporadically as his breathing was still erratic, but there was more color to his face now.

"…Logie."

"I'll talk to you later, Kas." He snapped this phone shut. "I'm fine," this time he was talking to Kendall. "Just a freak out."

"A freak out," he repeated blandly.

"Yeah," Logan said shortly. "That's what happens when you get informed that your Texas friends are spending Christmas with you in LA."

"They're what?" Kendall exclaimed.

Logan rubbed his temple then pinched the bridge of his nose. "They'll be here in a few hours. Apparently your mom's in on it."

"…_what_?" He said flatly. "I mean, don't get me wrong, if they're your friends then they're probably great. You've got _amazing _taste in friends." Logan laughed. "But, seriously?"

"Seriously," Logan said, nodding. "They weren't even going to tell me. Just show up here, give me a heart attack."

"Where are they going to _stay_?" Kendall wondered.

"_That _is a really good question," Logan said dryly. "I don't think we want to know." He rubbed his chest with the heel of his hand, breathing deeply.

Kendall ran a hand through his hair. "Well, since we know we should probably go tell James and Carlos then gang up on my mom. With all four of us she can't hide anymore."

"By the time we _find _Carlos and James they'll already be here," Logan pointed out, but he shut his laptop anyway.

It wouldn't be until after Christmas that he would remember Logan's "freak out" and how quickly the older teen dismissed it.

* * *

><p>It as safe to say that Logan's three Texas friends and his three Minnesota friends (excluding Katie, but she counted) got along <em>famously<em>. Kasey was a complete freak and got along with Katie and Carlos the most. Victoria and James exchanged beauty tips. Brian and Kendall got into arguments about which sport was better, Kendall always argued for hockey while Brian argued for everything _but _hockey.

Logan could only sit in the middle of he chaos and wonder how his life ended up like this.

He couldn't believe Kendall almost caught him having a freaking panic attack. No, scratch that. He _did_ catch him having a panic attack. Logan was very thankful he had some earth-shattering news to announce to steer the conversation away.

He wasn't exactly ready to explain why he had the attacks and why he had meds he never took buried at the bottom of a duffle bag. Hell, his mom didn't even know he had the stupid things. Brian was probably going to make him take them while the three of them were here. You would think Kasey would, but she hated meds just as much as Logan did. Though if Brian stood his ground, Kasey would eventually start bugging him too.

Despite wanting to be a doctor, he really didn't like following doctor's orders.

"Logan! Catch!" Victoria threw a cylindrical thing at him, smacking him in the head. "Oops, sorry," she said, not sounding sorry at all.

He stuck his tongue out at her and picked up the projectile to find out it was a package of Chocolate Digestives. "Ew, seriously?"

"Don't let the name fool you," she said. "They have nothing to do with your digestive tract."

James made a face while Katie and Carlos perked up.

"Say what now?"

"Do I want to know?" Kendall asked.

Kasey nodded her head. "Yes, yes! Logan eat them. They're really good, better than the plain ones. Vic's mom got them when she went to London a couple weeks ago."

"And you ask her to get me _these _instead of kinder eggs?" Logan said. Though, the way things were labeled in _any _country was weird. He opened the package, eyeing the cookies suspiciously. Kasey said there were plain ones and those probably helped settle upset stomachs, hence "digestive."

That still didn't explain why Victoria's mom brought back a drink called "cockta" once when she visited some Slavic country. Logan learned a very valuable lesson about his schools' maturity levels when that happened. And about Kasey's too.

"If I eat them will you leave me alone?" Logan asked. Jeez, turn your nose up at _one _thing and suddenly you apparently don't like anything.

"Yes," Vic and Kasey said at the same time quickly.

He sighed and took a bite of the cookie. "It's good," he said truthfully. It was very good. He saw Carlos reaching for one so he snatched the package away. "Nope!" He popped the 'p.' "Mine." Carlos pouted and gave him the puppy dog look. "Fine. Free for all."

He really needed new friends.

* * *

><p><em>Christmas Eve<em>

"You have to tell them."

"No, I don't."

"Yes you do, man."

"Nope."

"Logan." Sigh. "They're your friends. You moved to LA for them. You could at least tell them about this."

"You've been here a week, how come you're just now confronting be about this?...You forgot, didn't you?"

"…No…Yes. You've been doing well since we came."

"I don't have panic attacks every day! I don't even have them every week, for God's sake! I'm doing _fine_. Leave me alone about it, alright!"

The door slammed opened the same moment Carlos tried the knob. Lucky he jumped back in time and only hit the wall, his helmet was there to protect him. He grinned and smacked it jollily.

His grin turned to a frown then Logan stormed past him, face dark and eye stormy with his mouth twisted in a scowl. In the room he just exited (Kendall and Logan's room) Vic, Kasey, and Brian stood there looking shocked and sad.

"Everything okay?" He asked a bit nervously.

"Everything's fine," Logan muttered. He grabbed his jacket. "Camille wants to hang out. I'll be back in a few hours."

"But dinner," Vic protested.

"I said I'll be back," Logan snapped before he vanished through the main door.

Carlos went back into entering the bedroom. "Just came in for Logan's computer," he said just to say something. "Katie wants to mess with it," he explained needlessly. He glanced back where Logan had disappeared. "Is everything okay?" He asked again.

Brian sighed. "Yeah," he said listlessly. "Everything honky-dory. Just some Texas stuff, no biggie."

Kasey scowled and crossed his arms. "God damn that stubborn mule. Misha would _not _be happy with that ungrateful bastard."

Carlos blinked in shock.

"Kasey!" Vic scolded. "Leave him alone."

Carlos quickly picked up the laptop and scurried out, letting the three Texans battle out their personal lives. He dropped the electronic off with Katie, not listening to her as she began describing with great enthusiasm what she was going to do with the future-doctor's computer.

James was in the bathroom, practicing _Nothing Even Matters (_Two weeks and Gustavo still wasn't happy with it)and the other songs (even though they didn't have to learn them yet, overachiever). Earlier the Texan friends had heard the taller teen singing and busted out laughing. James thought they were making fun of him, but they assured him he wasn't.

Kendall was also out, but with Jo instead of Camille (that would be awkward), so that left Carlos sitting in the hallway, pondering the fight he half witness. He didn't here the beginning, but he heard the end ("_Leave me alone about it, alright!"). _There had been something off about Logan ever since he came back from Texas, though it was hard to tell if it was because something was seriously wrong or because he just grew up.

Kendall was worried. He mentioned it every now and then. James was starting to see it too. Carlos had thought they were being paranoid, but that conversation seemed to trigger something and now he could see that maybe they weren't so paranoid.

That was extremely worrying. Logan was pretty good at hiding not-outright secrets (ask him directly who stole the last cookie he'll cave, ask him to keep a secret about having a once crush on Jenny and he'll take it to the grave), the fact that they were starting to realize what was going on spoke of two things.

One. He wanted them to find out.

Or two. Something was so wrong he really couldn't hold on anymore.

Once Kendall got back he was going to inform him about what happened.

"Carlos! Come check this out!"

Until then, he and Katie had a laptop to put a prank on.

* * *

><p>Camille sighed and messed with her straw. "Logan, what's wrong?"<p>

Logan didn't look up from tearing apart a piece of bread. He muttered something and increased the rate of shredding.

This Christmas Eve lunch date was not going the way she wanted it to go.

"What did that bread ever do to you?" She joked, hoping that would get him to talk. "Seriously, you're acting like it did you some great misdeed. Maybe talking things out first will get rid of some of that pent up frustration."

He sighed and dropped the pieces. He dragged his drink closer and leaned on his elbows so he could take sips from the straw. "My friends from Texas are being annoying jackasses."

Camille frowned. "I'm sure it's not that bad. What are they being annoying jackasses about?"

Logan opened his mouth, paused, and then closed it with an audible click. "It's complicated," he said slowly. "I…I really don't want to talk about it."

"Then why mention it?" She countered. When he didn't reply she sighed and touched his arm. "They obviously care about you, so maybe you should take what they say into consideration. Plus, Kasey seems like a smart girl, she'd know whether or not you need to do what they want you to do."

"You only think she's smart because she hit on you," Logan said.

"Hey, girl's got good taste, what can I say?"

Logan bit his lip. "What they want me to do…it's big, Camille. Really big. It could change everything."

"Everything," Camille said. "Or just how how they look at you?" Logan's eyes flickered up to meet hers, startled. Damn, she was so perceptive. She was so proud of herself. "I can tell you now that nothing's gonna change. Come on, this is Kendall, Carlos, and James we're talking about. Think about it then tell me I'm right."

He was quiet for a really long time. Camille waited patiently for the answer. Okay, not patiently, because she could never sit still (she and Carlos liked to have contests to see who could stay in one position the longest), but patiently enough.

"You're right," he finally said, sighing. "But that doesn't really change the fact that half of my friends are being annoying jackasses and I really don't want to tell anyone."

Camille tangled their fingers together and squeezed his hand tightly. "What ever you decide, I don't care. I'm still here."

And that's what led to their first real kiss.

* * *

><p><em>Christmas<em>

Things were a little tense when Christmas morning rolled around. But not too tense that no one wasn't excited. Kendall was a little worried about the Texas friends. He had no idea they were coming so he, Carlos, and James didn't get them anything.

Luckily his mom was a saint.

In his pile of presents he got a new hockey helmet, a stack of movies, a Visa gift card, and a whole bunch of other things. He had to wrestle Carlos for control of the television because the younger teen also got some DVDs (_Numb3rs_, something he and Logan recently go into. Carlos for the FBI side and Logan for the math) and they both wanted to watch their new presents.

Logan joined in the fight so Kendall lost because two against one wasn't fair.

"Next time," James said, smirking. "Maybe."

Kendall threw a pillow at the pretty boy.

James got hair care products and tickets to see some play he'd been wanting to see for a while. He also got a Visa gift card and more things (most of them having to do with with beauty). And a voucher for a free copy of Mitchell Henderson's next album.

It was safe to say Katie was jealous.

Along with seasons 1 thought 6 of _Numb3rs _Carlos got a stack of books (surprisingly) that had to do with police procedure (no so surprisingly) and new helmet though he was probably never going to use it, and a Visa gift card. The number of books he got was amazing, they were mostly from Logan, Officer Garcia, Katie, and Kasey (somehow she knew his obsession with law enforcement).

Logan got medical books, a Visa Gift, something for his computer, and some sketch books (He still drew, just not as often. Kendall kind of missed Logan eagerly showing a new art piece every week), and more and more things (his Texas friends were being very extravagant in the number of presents they got him).

Kasey, Brian, and Victoria had a collection of things from each other, his mom, and Logan (they arrived the day before he was going to ship out their gifts). They were small things, smaller than what the boys got. Handmade cards, little trinkets, a book here and there.

What they gave as presents were also very small. They made it so the three of pitched in to buy one present for each person. Carlos got a CD that was some sort of realistic scenario for solving various crimes. Kendall got a hockey poster for the Minnesota Wild. And James got a coffee table book on celebrities. Katie a little, but beautiful, hummingbird pendent. Mrs. Knight a Celtic knot necklace. Logan a little photo album he refused to look at.

There was one present that was never opened that was small and light enough to sit among the branches.

They had the good graces to never ask them about it.

* * *

><p>Logan sat on the floor, leaning against the bed as he flipped through the photo album. Inside was a mixture of sketches and small drawings by both him and Misha and photos of all five of them (sometimes together, sometimes just two or three, sometimes more).<p>

He smiled sadly. Kasey was his first friend in Texas, but Misha was his first best friend. He and Misha were tight friends that slowly integrated into the friendship Victoria, Kasey, and Brian had. He rubbed his eyes as they burned. Now was not the time to cry.

His chest tightened and his vision swam.

Logan groaned. Now was not the time to have a stupid panic attack either. An orange bottle appeared in his line of sight. He glanced up to see Brian solemnly holding his prescription medication with steady hands.

"Brian," he sighed.

"Logan." Brian knelt next to him. "I know you hate taking them, but it's Christmas. I'm pretty sure having a panic attack on Christmas would be a downer, huh?"

He sighed again. "Fine," he grumbled. "But don't count this as a victory." He tapped out two pills and took them dry a la Dr. House.

Brian just grinned. "What do you think?" He nodded to the album.

"I love it," he said truthfully. "It's a little hard to go through it," he admitted. "But I love it.

"His mom brought us this hug box a month before you left," he said. "We planned to make the album for Christmas then give you the box a few weeks later. Then you moved so you're getting the rest of the box on your birthday."

"You visiting then too?"

Brian shook his head. "No, sorry, just gonna send it via post."

Logan shrugged. "Thank you," he said quietly after a moment of silence.

His friend smiled and patted his arm comfortingly. "They're going to call you later tonight," he said. "I'd take it somewhere else." He got to his knees. "Kasey's going to take Misha's present to his parents when we get back."

He nodded and flipped through a few more pictures. "I'll be out in a little bit," he said absently.

"I'll let them know," Brian said knowingly. "Keep Carlos, Kendall, and James from barging in here." He stood up and headed to the door. "They're good friends, Loge."

He grinned. "I know."


End file.
